Though this is not the first time, that I'm writing a letter to you, today is a special reason behind my penning down the words. As always, I hope you're in the best of your health and happiness.
Mamma, do you remember the time when I had just turned 16 and all I wanted was some "quality time" - alone? The times when I'd want to go out with my friends and you'd stop me? Or tell me a long list of instructions on "don't' wear this, don't do this, eat this, don't drive fast, come back soon". Back then I felt like "God… how about renting an apartment with a friend and staying all by myself?"
Time passed and with time my outings lessened, so did my phone calls. I'd study late nights, till 2:00 AM sometimes 3:00. And just when I'd need a cup of coffee, you'd be right there with one. Was it your instinct, was it telepathy, I'd wonder!
I'd see you work all day long in the house. Your mornings began with papa's tea, his breakfast, my breakfast, and all the housework. And yet you never complained. There was one time, when I found you asleep early in the morning, I stood there looking at you for a minute and thought " what fun is it to be a mother?" when all you get is pressure from both sides? You were always the middle person between papa and us, and I know that didn't make things any easier for you.
There was one time when we had this huge fight. I guess you don't remember. Infant, I wish you wouldn't. I stomped out of the house, swearing never to return. It was you who called me asking me to come back.
We'd go shopping together for groceries, clothes, and books. As I grew up, we developed a special bond of love and friendship. One day during one of our shopping trips I asked you "mom, why do you always makeup with me after a fight? Why do you always forgive?" All you said was " when you become a mother, you'll know. When you hold your child for the first time in your arms, you'll know".
And that's precisely the reason why I'm writing to you today Ma. God has given me this beautiful gift of a baby and as I hold him in my arms, I'm thinking of you. As memories of our yesteryears rush through my mind and I look forward to my years to come with this precious part of me, all those questions that I had in my teenage years are answered in an unspoken way.
I know the feeling now, I know what it's like to be a mother. I know what it's like to be 'you' Mamma. And let me tell you, I love the feeling.
With all my love,