Remember the first time we came here? It was the day we got married. You were a shy uncertain girl doing your best to act like a woman. I loved to tease you then, I still do. I loved to watch your mock anger at some prank I had played, and then those hours spent later on in wooing u.
I remember your utter look of exasperation at my unending misadventures and my contrite promises to make amends. After a while you would burst out laughing. I have played the fool many times just to hear that lilting laugh and now looking back, I think you knew about it all along.
Remember the days of strife? Those ups and downs we’ve had. I did my best to provide for you, working odd hours stretching late into the nights, I still see you waiting at the door, the smile lighting up your face when you saw me. I wanted to give you everything possible, there were times I couldn’t, but you never complained on the days we had to make do with less. You would then talk to me about new tomorrows and new dreams, and I would smile back at your simple faith.
Remember those days of those little tiffs? I wronged you at times unintentionally, and sometimes, on purpose. I could see your eyes widen with hurt, see you shedding silent tears, tears which coursed down your face to lose themselves in the pillow. I used to envy the pillow then, I wanted to wipe your tears away, wanted to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep like a child. Yes, you seemed like my little daughter then. I remember those sleepless nights when I have been awake as you cried yourself to sleep over somethings I said. I wanted to reach out but was prevented by my ego and plain stubbornness. I would turn over and pretend to sleep but every single muffled sob that escaped your lips, hurt me too. I still remember how you would clam up on me, not talking to me for a day or two, and we would talk through our children. I remember even in those times you made sure that I ate on time, kept my reading glasses in a place where I wouldn’t miss them, the little things you did projecting your displeasure yet steeped in love and care.
It’s not always easy to be the man. I have felt helpless many times and yet tried to play the part of being strong for you and our children, putting up a brave front. You always saw through my act. That silly old song you used to hum under your breath as you hugged me silently. I remember the touch of your gentle hand running through my hair, easing my weariness, and I would be reborn, ready to face the world again.
I remember as we have walked our lives together, you have been my friend, my little daughter and even my mother. Together we’ve watched our children grow up, walk their first tiny steps, watched them run. The little birdies have gone on to make their own nests. I remember you wept when they left and I would talk to you about how it was a way of life and about letting go. I think you’ve picked up the strings of life far better than me, I, the one who consoled you, still yearn for the children’s presence.
We have had a good life together. Now in our twilight, the memories keep flooding in. The good, growing fonder with each passing day, the bad, appearing like some hazy recollections of a different world. It makes me realize of the many things undone, many words unspoken, those feelings untold. Watching the shadows lengthen on the sands, and before they lengthen to disappear with the passing time, all I want to say to you this evening …..
Wife, I thank you for sharing my sunset with me.