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Family Matters  
Recipe for a Happy Marriage

Not long after the honeymoon is over, many couples suddenly feel that they must now be serious, no nonsense people. They tend to fall into a rut of unrealistic expectations, assuming their spouses can read their minds as to what they want and need. But real life is not a romantic fairy tale and only you can create an environment that is conducive to romance, and bring out the lover in your spouse. Here are some ideas to zip up your married life. 

1. Saying "I Love You" works. Say it as often as you want.

2. Try a new position every month.

3. Remember, the more you give is the more you get.

4. Do not ignore yourself. Looking good for each other makes you want to be closer emotionally and physically.

5. If you are a woman and you feel like doing it, don’t be shy of suggesting.

6. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Learn to explain your angry feelings decently.

7. Exchange gifts for no reason once in a while.

8. At least once a month, do it out of the bedroom.

9. Go out alone at least once a month. If you have small kids, leave them with a friend, family or a sitter.

10. Small love gestures add a feeling of courtship. They can be serious or silly or sexy.

11. Create fun evenings, play silly games or read comics together.

12. Surprise your spouse by doing something special and unexpected.

13. Show affection and be liberal with your hugs and kisses. These small actions demonstrate the love inside you.

14. Men and Women look at sex differently. Remember sex is always on a priority list for a man.

15. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

16. Give each other a massage. Use massage oils, candlelight and soft music.

17. Never bring up issues from the past. Discuss one subject at a time.

18. Forget your ego. Don’t wait for your partner to initiate something.

19. Make a ritual of going to sleep together. Snuggle for a few minutes before kissing and falling asleep.

20. Take a bubble bath together. Turn on your favorite love song CD. Then hop in together and enjoy each other’s company.

21. When you make a mistake, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

22. Try to be each other’s soul mate.

23. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.

24. Don’t take each other for granted. Be generous with compliments like "You are great!", "good food", "Hi Handsome" etc.

25. Go to the park for long walks, hand in hand.

26. Say it! Don’t imagine your partner knows how you feel. He is not a god.

 – Usha Rana
October 1999

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