|
|
Humor / Satire
The Hari Putar Dialogues � 15
by
Rajesh Talwar
(The
Guardian, London, 22 July. The bookshop trestle table clearly ain't big
enough for the both of them. Novelist Salman Rushdie yesterday claimed
to have broken wine writer Malcolm Gluck's record for book signings
after adding his full name to 1,000 books on a tour to promote his
latest novel. "His record is toast," Rushdie crowed, in a letter to the
Guardian.)
Putar:
According to a report in the Guardian today Salman Rushdie has broken
wine writer Malcolm Gluck�s record for the time taken to sign a thousand
copies of a book.
Hari: I read that story, putar.
Putar: Malcolm Gluck has acknowledged defeat and says that he is
humbled, especially since Salman has made it clear that he had signed
his full name and not merely his initials.
Hari: That is correct, putar.
Putar: At the same time Gluck says that this is typical of male rivalry
and no woman would get involved in something like this.
Hari: That�s not really true, putar. Salman Rushdie has pointed
out that the fastest signers include former President Jimmy Carter, the
novelist Amy Tan and now himself. So there is Amy Tan, a female as well.
Putar: Well, she had an unfair advantage, didn�t she?
Hari: Why do you say that, putar?
Putar: Such a short name. It would have taken longer for someone like
Fyodor Dostoevsky or Alexander Pushkin for they have more than twice the
number of letters to their names.
Hari: Somehow you can�t imagine any of these great classical writers
taking part in such a contest, putar.
Putar: Pushkin did take part in a duel, but not this kind of contest. I
believe that this has something to do with modern consumerism.
Hari: Anyhow, I�m sure that J K Rowling would defeat Salman Rushdie in a
�who can sign more copies� contest.
Putar: Why do you say that, Papaji?
Hari: Don�t forget that she has written all these books about magic and
wizardry.
Putar: So you mean that she will use magic to sign more copies than him.
Hari: Exactly, putar.
Putar: Hmmm. You have a point there, but on the other hand if she has
created magic in her books, Salman has been creating magic realism.
Hari: All right, but I still say that she will be faster. Don�t forget
that she created Hurry Putar.
Putar: That may be true, but Salman can also do things in a great rush.
After all he is Rushdie.
Hari: You have a point there. There is also a story carried in the Times
of India recently about a suite at The Balmoral Hotel, considered the
most luxurious and expensive of hotels in Scotland, having become a
place of pilgrimage for millions of Harry Potter fans around the world.
It is in this hotel suite 552 where JK Rowling completed her successful
series of novels. It has now been renamed the JK Rowling Suite in her
honor after she gave permission.
Putar: How much do they charge to stay in the suite?
Hari: According to the report, the hotel is charging �965 per night to
stay in the room.
Putar: That�s too much for a child to pay, and even if the child had the
money I�m sure he or she would have find a better way to spend so much
money.
Hari: The parents of the child will pay, I guess. And don�t forget
Rowling has adult fans as well. According to reports, since the secret
venue for her final chapter was revealed in a TV documentary, wealthy
fans from across the world have stayed there, specifically requesting
the suite.
Putar: I wonder if its true or just a publicity stunt.
Hari: It�s probably true, putar. The centre of attraction in the
room is a marble bust of the Greek god Hermes on which the author has
scribbled in black marker: �JK Rowling finished writing Harry Potter and
the Deathly Hallows in this room (552) on January 11, 2007.� It is kept
in the safety of a protective glass case.
Putar: The hotel has profited from her stay there.
Hari: They certainly have, putar.
Putar: I wonder if they have busts of Greek Gods in all the rooms�
Hari: This may be part of the interior decoration provided in all the
rooms, putar.
Putar: What do you think would have happened if a child staying in the
room had scribbled something with a permanent black marker on such a
statue?
Hari: The parents of the child would have had to compensate the hotel
for damaging their property. That�s why they�ve now put the bust in a
glass case.
Putar: To prevent children who stay in that room from scribbling on the
statue that they also stayed there.
Hari: Exactly.
Putar: Tell me something Papaji?
Hari: Bol, putar?
Putar: Businessmen can sell anything, can�t they?
Hari: That could be true, putar, but what are you trying to say?
Putar: This room in the hotel for instance. They are selling someone�s
past presence in a room in a hotel where all the rooms resemble each
other.
Hari: That�s true, putar.
Putar: Imagine if some years later when the Harry Potter fever has died
down, J K Rowling came back to that very same hotel to stay again for a
few days to start a new book. Would the hotel give her a discount to
stay in her old room?
Hari: I�m sure they would. Not that she would need it, for by some
accounts she�s worth 520 million pounds and is richer than the Queen of
England.
Putar: Or would the hotel request her to please stay in a new room, even
free, and sign another bust that she�s started her new book there?
Hari: I don�t know, putar.
July 27, 2008
Top
|
Humor
|
|
