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Humor / Satire
The Hari Putar Dialogues � 19
by
Rajesh Talwar
(Gulf
Times, 18th August, ROME (Reuters) - When in Capri, don't wander off the
beach in a bikini. If you go to the sea in Eraclea, near Venice,
remember that building sandcastles is forbidden. And don't even think
about mowing your lawn at the weekend in Forte dei Marmi.
Public displays of affection in a car can earn you a fine of up to 500
euros ($745) in Eboli, feeding pigeons is off-limits in the centre of
Lucca while in Novara groups of more than two people are forbidden from
lounging around in parks at night.)
Putar:
According to a Reuters report carried in the Gulf Times today, the
Italian Government has imposed a series of bans on quite ordinary
activities.
Hari: I haven�t read that story, putar. What is this about?
Putar: There have been so many banned activities that Italian newspapers
have dubbed this year's holiday season "the summer of bans."
Hari: But surely it will remain a summer of bans only if these bans are
lifted in winter, putar?
Putar: Some of the bans are specific to the summer season. For instance
there is a rule imposed in Capri that women should not wander off the
beach in a bikini. Capri is one of the most beautiful islands in the
world, and a popular destination for Italian as well as foreign
tourists.
Hari: In other words it�s fine to wear a bikini on the beach but not
outside the beach area.
Putar: Exactly.
Hari: That�s very capricious on the part of the government. Is this to
do with wearing revealing clothes, do you think?
Putar: I don�t somehow think so, Papaji. The Italians are not so
conservative.
Hari: But they are very fashion conscious, aren�t they, putar? Perhaps
that is why they have imposed an off beach dress code. Are the other
bans also to do with the summer season?
Putar: There is another one related to the season. If you go to the sea
in Eraclea, a small seaside resort near Venice, you need to remember
that building sand castles is forbidden.
Hari: That�s a very strange prohibition. Why should that be the case?
Putar: Can�t imagine the reason, Papaji. There are other bans
that are not summer related. For example there is a ban on mowing your
lawn at the weekend in Forte dei Marmi.
Hari: Why should it concern the Government when people mow their lawns?
I�ve heard that orthodox Christians disapprove of people working on
Sunday, but that was decades earlier and here when they speak of the
weekend that must include Saturday also?
Putar: Could be for the Seventh Day Adventists, who don�t believe in
working on Saturday instead of Sunday. But this is not all. Feeding
pigeons is off limits in the centre of Lucca.
Hari: I can understand that. In London, they discourage people from
feeding the pigeons at Trafalgar Square. There are simply too many of
them now and I�m told that they can be quite a nuisance.
Putar: I thought pigeons were harmless, lovely birds.
Hari: Not according to some Londoners who have described pigeons as
�rats with wings�.
Putar: It�s really odd that the Italians are doing this. It used to be
said that in Germany everything is forbidden unless it is specifically
permitted, but in Italy everything is permitted unless it is
specifically banned.
Hari: If these kinds of bans stay in force, people will change their
views of Italians. Italians are supposed to be an easygoing people who
don�t believe in too many rules, putar. They have their siesta as
well, don�t they?
Putar: It is said that the Southern Italians are much more relaxed
compared to the Northerners. Listen to this. Public displays of
affection in a car can earn you a fine of up to 500 Euros in Eboli. I
suppose kissing and hugging would come within the definition of public
display of affection.
Hari: That�s a high price to pay for a kiss or a hug, putar.
Better to step outside the car. More room to kiss and hug, and less
expensive.
Putar: In Vicenza they have passed a law that doesn�t even allow people
to lie down in a park.
Hari: And what happens if you do, putar?
Putar: You get fined. Rodrigo Piccoli, 33, called national radio to
protest after he was fined 50 Euros for lying down in a park to read a
book. The mayor has since promised to drop the ban.
Hari: So are these the mayors of the cities that are passing these laws?
Putar: Yes, they are the ones. There is at present a nationwide
crackdown on crime and a government decree giving mayors extra
law-and-order powers. And so Italian mayors have issued a string of
several bizarre by-laws to enhance "public decorum."
Hari: Maybe they are also doing this to raise money? Don�t they say that
traffic fines in Delhi increase just before Republic Day Parade?
Putar: That�s possible of course. Tell me something Papaji?
Hari: Bol, putar?
Putar: In the town of Novara in Italy, groups of more than two people
are forbidden from lounging around in parks at night.
Hari: I guess this is part and parcel of the strange banning activity,
putar.
Putar: Do you think it would be okay if a husband and wife took along
their small children to the park?
Hari: I suppose so, putar.
Putar: In terms of the law in Novara, they could all be arrested. Would
children come within the definition of �people�?
Hari: I don�t know, putar.
August 24, 2008
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