Humor   
To Watch A Rated Movie!

The physics lecturer was rambling along writing esoteric equations on the board and Tarun was feeling very bored. Two boys in the bench next to him were busy in their own world playing words building puzzles. A small argument built up and it interrupted the stillness of the class. The lecturer fumed – 

'Hey you two, get out of my class'. 
A formal 'But sir…' 
The voice raising 'Don't talk. Just get out'.

The two walked out trying to hide the expression of sheer delight breaking out on their faces at this unforeseen stroke of luck. They were all set for the day since the attendance was already taken.

Welcoming this break and looking at his watch, Tarun thought to himself 'Bastard, why doesn't this guy take a leave at least for a day? And this watch, something's got to be wrong with this. Time moves so slowly in this hour. Pchh, even Deepu hasn't come today. Otherwise, I could have passed this time just by looking at her'. A paper ball striking his elbow interrupted his reverie and he looked out of the window. He saw a beaming Kumar asking in sign language to meet him after the class in the canteen. Tarun with a desperate look on his face, signaled back 'Come in and ask for me'. Kumar signaled back with mock horror 'Interrupt this guy's lecture? No way' and ran along the corridor waving an admonishing finger as if to say 'you better make the rendezvous or else'.

***

Over a cup of tea in the canteen Kumar asked Tarun – 

'Hey, Kasyap told me yesterday that you are the only guy in our group who has never visited the temple'. 
'That's not true, yaar. Every week I go to the Sai Baba temple in my street'.
'Look here, don't try to be funny with me. I'm referring to Radha theatre'.
'Well…. hee, hee….. no, I haven't been there. Don't you think it's wrong to watch those kind of movies ?'.
'No, it is not. It's perfectly natural, man. Do you think you are a Sadhu ? Is it written in the Vedas that one cannot watch this stuff ? Anyway, I take it as a personal insult that you did not watch anything till now. We're going today and that's final'.

Eager for a change of plan, Tarun threw the last stone –  

'But can't we watch it on video in your house? I know you and the rest of our gang used to do it often'.
'Yes, but I have had enough of all that. You don't know what a pain it is to be interrupted by my mother and my ever-curious younger brother. That rascal, he's in school and he already wants to get started. Young people these days are growing up too fast, I tell you. And do you know how we have to change the cassette each time someone walks across the room ? This is something that has to done with peace of mind. Boy, there is nothing like watching it on the big screen'.
'Okay, then. But are you sure none of the people we know will turn up there ?'.
'Mostly no. But even if they do, so what ? What do you think they are there for ?. If you meet someone, just smile at him. Forget all this, I'm there with you and will take care of everything. Come, let's eat something and start. The movie starts at 1'O clock but they'll show some nice trailers before that'.
'But what about afternoon's classes?'.
'Are you mad or something? I know you have only Sanskrit and English hours. Shut your mouth and come with me and you will get better education'.

After having their lunch and zooming on their bicycles towards the 'temple', his voice tense with excitement Tarun asked Kumar 'By the way, what's the title of the movie?'

'Oh, the title?. Many times I do not notice it. But I think it is 'Paris, Paris'. Good one, no ?'.

***

The 'temple' was a dilapidated theatre in dire need of repairs but none of the customers seemed to mind. It had a small but dedicated clientele who visited it without fail whenever the poster changed. Present on the outskirts of the town, it was located ideally for many people who wanted to avoid prying eyes. In it's vicinity were two colleges, giving the young people an ideal place to hang out and escape from their world of studies and exams.

The title was indeed 'Paris, Paris'. Kumar went and got the tickets. As the crowd gathered, Tarun started prodding his friend 'Come, let us go in. I'm afraid to stand here'.

Kumar said 'I'm starting to get sick of you. Wait till I smoke my cigarette and we'll go'.

In the relative safety of the dark theatre, Tarun choose a place that was the farthest from all exits so that he could see all the people coming in and going out. Having gone through it all, Kumar understood and complied. A group of experienced boys who were at some distance from them were having the time of their lives shouting and laughing in eager anticipation. 'Brave guys' Tarun said to himself. 

One of them, another classmate, spotted Tarun and shouted 'Hey, you too!. When did you start ?'. As a symbolic protest and afraid that his name might be shouted, Tarun sank into his seat trying to hide his face. Each second was like an eon now.

To Kumar's displeasure, there were no trailers and the movie started abruptly. 

Only one electric fan was working in their section and a man, who looked like a lorry driver, settled beside Tarun. He prodded and asked – 

'How long since the movie started?'
Tarun, afraid to show his face, answered back without turning 'Just now, just now'.
'Anything happened ?. You know, anything…?'.
With irritation in his voice, he replied 'No, no, please watch. The real story starts now'.

The lorry driver leaned forward and seeing a familiar Kumar's face, asked 'First timer, eh ?'.

Kumar replied 'Yes' and both of them smiled a 'know it all' to each other and all the understanding in the world passed between them.

To their utter disappointment, there was nothing what they wished for and the interval came very quickly. Tarun asked Kumar 'What the hell is this, yaar ?. Nothing worth mentioning and full of cuts. I think this movie can be shown on Doordarshan prime time'.

Kumar 'Yes, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Maybe there was a police raid on the theatre. But let us hope for the best. We still have half the movie left. Sometimes everything starts after the interval. I'm going out for a smoke, are you coming out ?'.

'No way I'm budging from here till the movie is over and all the crowd has vacated'.

'Ok, your wish.' 

Kumar returned with the lorry driver who still had his beedi burning 'They are robbing us, these #$*ing theatre fellows. I'm going to break a chair if nothing happens from now on.'

As if the man in the projector room heard them, a good scene flashed across immediately. Tarun asked Kumar 'But who are these people ? They are not part of the movie story'.

'You rascal, keep quiet and watch. Nobody comes to this place to watch a story picture'.

That was all they got from their adventure and the ending was as sudden as the start. The lorry driver left muttering colorful expletives. Kumar said 'That was worth just four rupees and I spent twenty rupees on this crap'.

'You mean that was worth two rupees and you spent ten?'

Kumar smiled and said 'No, no, you need not pay me. This was a treat for you. I believe in educating all my friends, you know'.

Grateful for this generosity and wanting to give something back, Tarun said 'Kumar, we really should ask people before coming to these movies instead of getting disappointed and wasting money like this. What do you say ?'.

'That's fine, yaar. Such is life, all days are not yours. Anyway, what do you propose we do now? It's too early to go home. Coming to Khan's tea center ?'.

'No, I think I'll go home and tell my folks that one class was cancelled. See you tomorrow'.

As he came out of the theatre, one person waiting for the next show asked Tarun 'Guru, how was it?'

Again with a straight face, he replied 'It was OK' and zipped along without waiting. The inquirer appeared satisfied. 

Later in the evening, Tarun reflected on the day and asked himself if it was worth it. All the tension, skipping classes and wasting money. And what if he was caught by someone he knew ? No, this shouldn't happen again. He resolved that he should stay away from all that and concentrate on his studies.

***

Time heals everything. Even the strictest of resolutions taken with the noblest of intentions do not last long. A week later Kumar met Tarun before the Physics class and said 'Hey, new movie in the temple called 'Noble lady'. I know this heroine, she's too good and does very well. Come, we'll go today'.

After a moment's hesitation, Tarun said 'OK, 12 'O clock in the canteen then'.

Kumar winked an OK and ran to his class.

Tarun walked into his department thinking to himself that it is not very hard to sit through the physics class now. His education had begun.   

– Raghuveer Mukkamalla
July 15, 2001

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