A communiqué from your office has proclaimed that you were visibly moved
when apprised how hundreds of students could not reach to the examination
centre in time causing loss of one academic year. Why they could not reach
in time…because your over-enthu Security had the roads blocked, erecting
barricades all along the route of your journey. Hence, poor students were
delayed beyond redemption. Come to think of it, what is one year in the life
of a great nation of a billion people. But no ! kind hearted that you are,
you immediately declared your deepest concern and determination to save
the poor from the woes of road-blocks .Hence, the unavoidable and painful
decision of travelling by helicopter with immediate effect even for local
journeys. How very considerate of you. In this KALIYUGA you are compassion
personified. You are simply incarnation of the God Himself on this
earth. Blessed is the holy land i.e. India studded by AVTARS like
you.
People are blabbering and indulging in ‘loose talk’ questioning your
decision to travel by helicopter in a poor country like ours. They are
kill-joys. Most of we Indians are like that, what to do. We are ignorant that
in India particularly in Delhi anybody when becomes somebody defies laws
of gravitation and floats two feet above the ground. Ground beneath his
feet is no better that Ground-zero. Helicopter is just about o.k. in
keeping with your status. You could have opted for RATHYATRAS but to
convert it to your suave taste and security requirements it would have
cost a fortune. You are the guardian and custodian of the national
exchequer. You are not the type to indulge in opulence and flaunt
mindlessly least of all upon yourself. Another technical snag is RATHAS are
known to be very slow, though our entire nation is slow and people have
frantically taken to fast food in the fond hope of becoming fast. The
bottom line is you have opted for helicopter in national interest and not
for any love for joy-ride frolics. You have no dearth when it comes to
fulfillment of whims and fancies. But as ever, you are inspired by simple
living and high thinking dictum. Only two things, one, welfare of
people, two safeguard of national interest are closer and dearer to your
heart. Silly people keep disputing and confusing between national interest
and interest of your sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law etc. etc.
How mean !.
O Master ! wretched public of our country is just a thankless lot. Little
do they realize that by opting for helicopter you have saved them from
countless traffic jams. You think these Indians will ever be able to
payback THIS debt, what to talk of repaying foreign debt.
O Soft-hearted one ! by opting for chopper you have reduced seventeen cars
of your motorcade thereby saving fuel. In keeping with the latest fad you
have not only shown concern towards pollution control but also a serious
initiative has been taken in this direction. Imagine poisonous fumes
emanating from seventeen cars and a cute, state-of art helicopter on the
other hand. Nation will always remember with gratitude your farsighted
decision.
O King of kings ! helicopter ride has several other advantages e.g. the
nation’s skyline is always under your watchful eyes. No undesirable
,Unidentified Flying Object dare enter the Indian skies when you are on
prowl er..patrol. Indian skies will be under constant vigil and India will
be saved of ever culprit “ Foreign hand “. O Lotus eyed ! if at all you
see any alien sneaking around you will locate and liquidate like Flash
Garden. O Lord of Lords ! you are Phantom, Mandrake, Flash Garden all rolled
in one and possess latest Mask too. Indeed another advantage of helicopter
ride is you are saved from unsavory site of heaps and holes that is heaps
of rubbish and pot holes. Municipal committee always starved of funds is
also saved from frequent repairs, refurbishing and whitewashing of the
buildings, pavements and roads. Imagine the amount of revenue saved on this
account alone. Poor you ! what more a solitary minister do for his
motherland .Travelling by chopper will keep you off from hazardous
pollution . We realize A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Thus, O
Visionary of visionaries you can save your energy, compassion and composure
to address intricate national problems. You can, thus, evolve newer and
unique schemes to amass more and more wealth say just about sufficient to
last few generations. O Ocean of wisdom ! how can we fathom your know-how
in this field. We live below poverty Rekha. In fact we have heard only of
one Rekha. She lives in Mumbai and is said to be quite rich, but that’s
another story.
O Holiest of holy ! I can foresee a trifle anomaly here, while travelling
by road medicos and paramedics shadow you in a luxurious medical van in
tow with ambulances, loads of life saving drugs, oxygen and blood taken away
from your loyal subjects (who else ?) I doubt, whether a chopper can have
such customized modifications. Therefore, I suggest and demand that another
helicopter equipped with necessary medical apparatus should follow you
wherever you go. What are few crores, after all it is health of our leader
which is at stake. If leader is healthy nation is healthy .Simple enough.
O Exalted one ! another benefit of helicopter ride is you will not be
harassed by hawkers, eunuchs and beggars who inevitably appear on traffic
signals and pester you unending. These beggars and mendicants keep devising
novel ways to extort alms. Often these very people show sleight of their
hands in flicking away your purse, cell phone and other valuables from your
vehicles. We may pass off the whole thing attributing it to “Foreign hand”
but O Enlightened one ! you know it is no foreign hand but our very own
indigenous hand so very apt in briefcase and chain snatching Voice of
meek ! we do not want your energy to be frittered away in dealing with
such lowly creatures. You have to conserve your energy for greater and
bigger ‘good’ of humanity and not squander in combating frivolity of these
sub-human criminals. Combating reminds me of the incident when a soldier
got waylaid and unwittingly entered your motorcade .Your ever alert
security guards thrashed him blue and black. The soldier later confessed
never been subjected to such a third degree torture even at the hands of
enemy in POW. camp. Last heard he (soldier) was nursing multiple
fractures together with few broken ribs. Police was still inquiring into
his possible links with terrorist outfits. O Savior of savious ! come to
think of it, you have really spared countrymen from so much manhandling. Can they ever return this
favor. These blockheads do not understand the
simple dictum ‘Their safety lies in your safety’
O Omniscient ! India is a large country with innumerable diversities.
There
is never a time when earthquake, drought, flood and/or train accident is not
there in one part or the other of this vast motherland. While you are
airborne it becomes so very convenient to de-tour and accomplish
on-the-spot site inspection before taking U turn for capital. Home is where
heart is and heart is where hearth is.
O Omnipotent ! helicopter is not only the indicator of your advancement
but of entire nation. Worst of foes will admit the strides you er…the
country has made and commanding heights achieved under your
leadership. Gone are the days of bullock cart and padyatras .No use
glorifying poverty. High time we stopped this senseless allegory of
poverty. The times has arrived to tell the world that prosperity is not the
patrimony of America. India too is a rich country inhabited by prosperous
people (see the latest listing in Forbes) If Whitehouse can boast of a
helipad so can our backyard. We are not a wee bit less. Since ancient times
our great sages such as Charvak had insisted to drink GHEE even if one has
to beg, borrow or steal. Think big, think global, these are the time of
globalization.
O Omnipresent ! I have never stepped into a chopper but have heard that it
rattles and makes terrible noise similar to opposition parties. You have to
engage some worthy mechanism so that this worthless chopper is suitably
neutralized or gagged.
Hail Minister ! Hail Helicopter !
Your worthless
Aspiring Airworthy
P.S. O Invincible ! please do not forget your one and only true
Underling. Do keep me by your side. I will run errand, carry Your Pan masala
box. You are aware of my expertise in Carting your wares be it
image, propaganda or box. Ain’t I Carrying your ballot box since 1952.
Boloji.com is owned and managed by
Boloji Media Inc Privacy Policy |
Disclaimer No part of this Internet site may
be reproduced without prior written permission of the copyright holder.
