The Great Indian Political Circus by Ramendra Kumar

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Humor /Satire
The Great Indian Political Circus
by Ramendra Kumar

Chapter 5

It was midnight. Lord Inder was sitting on a swing in his imperial garden with his cell beside him. The cell rang and Lord Inder picked it up.

“Good evening, Lord Inder, Tony here. I just received your email. Was there anything urgent?”

“You scoundrel, you illegitimate son of Brahma, where the hell were you? Your mobile too was switched off? I have sent you on special assignment, not to while away your time chasing skirts.”

“B. . . but, boss, I was. . .”

“Anyway, forget it and listen carefully. I have just had a brilliant idea. I want a lot more information regarding Mera Bharat Mahaan. For instance, what is the education system like and the details about the police, health care, etc.”

“Why, boss? Are you are trying to write a bestseller in which the hero is based in MBM?”

“Don’t be stupid. When I take over Hell all this information will come very handy. It will help me in carrying out the administration in a more effective and efficient manner. So instead of wasting your time and energy and my money on females you get busy collecting information and file your report at the earliest.”

“Yes, boss, understood, boss, thank you, boss, good night, boss.”

Unthonee replaced the receiver muttering: “Sala Buddha, he tries to finger me every time. Now he has once again landed me in a mess. I think I’ll have to spend the rest of my life just collecting information and writing reports. My li’l baby Julie must be getting wild with me. I had promised her I would be back in three days and we would celebrate her birthday in Heaven Unlimited’s trendiest disco Nach de Bukhaar. But three weeks have gone by and I am still stuck in MBM watching Garam Singh doing a tango with that fat fool Lala whatisname.”

“My poor Julie how much I’m missing her. That bugger Peter has been line maroing my babe for the last two years. If I continue to neglect her she might switch channels and start responding to Peter’s love calls. And if this happens what will I do? Boss has Rambha, Urvasi and Menaka for time-pass. I have only my chweetie-pie Julie. If she too leaves me then I am done for. As it is there is an acute shortage of young women in Heaven Unlimited. If I lose Julie than either I end up with an old hag or become happy and gay like Weak-Ram Seth.”

Unthonee stopped suddenly, picked his cell and started dialing.

“Hey maan, Dude, Tony here. How are you? How is Congress Alpha doing? Listen Dude, I need your help. I want to meet a professor working in some university. I have to make a report on the education system here for my boss. He has been making my life hell. Do you know any professor? Yes, yes, any specialization will do. Yes, please give me his name and contact number. Yes, I am noting down . . . Professor Anpadh Akalbandkar . . . which subject? English? That’s great, yes his phone number? 7272727. Thanks a lot. And Dude, please put in a word to him. I’d like to meet him tomorrow. Thanks once again and sweet dreams.”

Unthonee replaced the receiver and started mumbling: “Now I’ll have to contact this Anpadh character. Dude was telling me I’ll have to pose as a Ph.D. student. No problem. I’ll do just that.”

– Continued

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March 25, 2007

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