The Great Indian Political Circus by Ramendra Kumar

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Humor /Satire
The Great Indian Political Circus
by Ramendra Kumar

Chapter 19

The day of the press conference had finally dawned. The venue was Hotel Kafila. The banquet hall of the hotel was packed. The videographers and photographers had already set up lights. The placards indicated that both Indian and foreign media were fully represented. Time, Newsweak, Economist, Life, Harvard Business Review, Indian Yesterday, Ending TV, Fashion TV, Scar TV, Pee TV, Kab Tak, CNN, Animal Planet, et al were all present. The Press Conference was being telecast live on Fashion TV, Animal Planet, CNN and Pee TV. Unthonee Muni, Garib Das, Lala Dharma Seth. Moong Dal, and Fakir Chand were occupying the front row. There was tremendous expectation in the air.

Precisely at eleven a.m. Makhmal Malini entered with Dude and Garam Singh on either side. Dressed in a light pink sari, the aanchal over her head, devoid of any jewellery and with very little makeup, she looked enchanting and yes, vulnerable. She sat very demurely on the dais between Dude and Garam Singh.

Garam Singh took the mike and commenced his address, “Brothers and sisters from Mera bharat Mahaan, America, England, Hongkong, Ethiopia, Mongolia, Uzbekistan and the rest of the world. Today is a very sad day for Bharat Mata. It is a shameful day. Today my innocent beti Makhmal is going to tell the world her tragic tale of betrayal. It is such a shameful thing that even today we have not been rid of wanton, lecherous and lascivious scoundrels who, in order to satiate their lust, are destroying the moral fabric of our society. Even in today’s enlightened times we have in our midst Ravanas, Duryodhanas and Dushasanas who are ruinming the lives of our Sitas, Savitris and Draupadis.

Today the entire world will know the name of that wretched swine who has betrayed the pure and innocent love of pyaari beti Makhmal. I beseech you, my dear friends, I beg you, I implore you to carry this saga of love, lust and betrayal to the farthest corners of the world - I plead before you to start a revolution to cleanse our society of these evil predators. Let us give this swine such exemplary punishment that it will be a lesson to all monsters of this type. For the sake of our sisters, mothers and daughters, for the sake of Mother Earth, I beg you, dear friends, please listen carefully to the sad story of dulaari beti Makhmal and start a moral Kurukshetra. With these few words I am handing over the mike to pyaari beti Makhmal.”

There was thunderous applause. Makhmal took the mike from Garam Singh, adjusted her aanchal over her head and began speaking :

“After hearing the fiery eloquence of respected Shri Garam Singhji, dear bothers and sisters, I am sure your blood must really be boiling. With the kind blessings of respected Shri Garam Singhji, today I’m going to declare the name of the swine, that wolf who has mauled both my body and my soul, the scoundrel who has not only molested my sentiments but also the feelings of Mother India.” She paused, and her voice choked. She covered her face with her handkerchief and sobbed into it.

“Dulaari beti Makhmal, please go ahead. Remember you are doing this not only for yourself but also for the sisters, mothers and daughters of Mother India.”

Makhmal wiped away her tears and tried to regain her composure.

“In an interview with CNN you had mentioned that the person who has ditched you is very powerful.” Questioned the correspondent of India Yesterday.

“Yes, he is very powerful. That is the reason why I didn’t have the courage to mention his name earlier.”

“Then how come today you have picked up sufficient courage? Aren’t you scared any more?” asked the reporter of Pee TV.

“Today I have realized that I am I not alone any more. There are equally powerful people to support me. And moreover now I have the sympathy of the all powerful fourth estate. The very fact that all of you have come here proves that I can count on your support.”

“Is the scoundrel who betrayed you a politician?” asked the correspondent of Time.

“Yes, yes, he is the master of the art and science of politics.”

Garam Singh who was getting very impatient said, “Pyaari beti Makhmal, do not delay nay more. The time has come. The whole world is waiting with bated breath. Remove the mask of respectability from the monster’s face.”

Makhmal turned towards Garam Singh and said, “You are absolutely right, respected Shri Garam Singhji, the moment has come.” Then she turned towards the audience and declared, “Brothers and sisters, please listen very carefully. What I am going to reveal to you will shock, disgust and revolt you. The rakshasa, the scoundrel, the swine, who has raped me mentally, physically and emotionally is none other than this hypocrite Garam Singh!”

There was a stunned silence for a moment and then pandemonium broke loose.

“Garam Singh!! What are you saying?” gasped the correspondent if Fashion TV.

“Garam Singh and this kind of conduct? Un . . . unbelievable,” stuttered the reporter of Animal Planet.

“Beti dulaari Makhmal! Have you gone mad?”

“Don’t call me beti, you dirty bastard, you two-faced monster, you swine. After molesting me, after battering me emotionally and physically, you still call me beti! Don’t you have any shame at all? You wanted me to implicate Samaj Sewak so that you could win the elections. You even bribed me to do that. But I am a pure and innocent daughter of Mother India. I cannot be untruthful. You dirty swine, you will have to pay for your crimes,” Makhmal spat out, her voice shaking with barely controlled rage.

“This is a conspiracy. She is speaking a bunch of lies,” shouted Fakir Chand, Garib Das and Moong Dal simultaneously.

There was confusion and chaos all around. Makhmal was whisked away by her bodyguards. Garam singh started screaming incoherently as the motley of media persons surged ahead and surrounded him.

– Continued

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July 8, 2007

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