Humor /Satire
The Great Indian Political Circus
by Ramendra Kumar

Chapter 22

Twenty minutes later Unthonee knocked on the door of Mkhamal’s mansion. A chowkidar appeared and led him to Makhmala’s room. Makhmal was dressed in a red saree and was looking gorgeous.

“Makhmal, congrats! What a sensational victory! Congress Alpha hasn’t even opened its account. Just imagine - cleaned bowled for a duck and all because of your googly.”

“Thank you, Unthonee, thank you very much,” Makhmal said blushing coyly.

“But, Makhmal, we are all puzzed. Why did you suddenly switch sides? We are expecting you to take the name of Samaj Sewak. But you hit all our predicitions for a six by naming Garam Singh.”

“It was quite simple really. Congress Alpha had made two offers to me. The first one was that it would exempt three of my forthcoming films from entertainment tax in the state of Ulta Pradesh. Well, a day before the Press Conference the High Command himself rang me up from Dilli. We had a long chat. It seems he has been my fan for the last so many years. He liked my performances in ‘Jawaaani Ki bhookh’ and ‘Pyaasa Man Bheega Tan’ very much. He saw the former 14 times and the latter 17 times. I felt so proud that day.”

“But, Makhmal, you were telling me about . . .”

“Relax, Unthonee, have some patience. So, as I was telling you, we talked for a very long time. He even suggested that we should hold a retrospective of my films in Zaire and Rwanda. He said he would personally talk to the High Commissioners of these two countries. He then promised me that he would get my films exempted from income tax in the entire country. Secondly, that clown Garam Singh and his stupid cronies were offering me some iddl-piddly cabinet post. And you know what the respected and honourable High Command offered me?

“The Ministry of Industries?”

“No, no. he offered me the Chief Ministership of Ulta Pradesh.”

“Ch..ch chief Ministership of Ulta Pradesh? Bu….. but what about Samaj Sewak?”

“Don’t you know? He has being made the Home Minister of Mera Bharat Mahaan.”
Just then the phone rang and Makhmal picked up the receiver.

“Namaste, sir, thank you, sir, thank you very much. It is all due to your blessings and good wishes, sir. You have to come, sir. We will be waiting for you. Yes, sir, you very much sir.”

Makhmal replaced the receiver and looked at Unthonee. “That was the High Command himself on the line. How wise, how great he is. I feel like keeping his portrait in my puja room and worshipping it. He rang me up to congratulate me.”

“He was congratulating you on becoming the Chief Minister designate?”

“No, silly. Why would he do that? He has himself bestowed on me that honour. He was congratulating me on my marriage.”

“M. . . Marriage when and with whom?”

“This evening, with the Deputy Chief Minister designate of Ulta Pradesh.”

“Who is he? Do I know him?”

“Of course you do, idiot. In fact, it was he who introduced you to me.” She paused for a moment enjoying the look of on Unthonee’s face.

“You couldn’t guess. I must say you are quite dumb. Dushyant Deleep, alias Dude, is my husband. The simple ceremony was performed a few hours back. The reception is tomorrow evening at Hotel Kafila. You should definitely come.”
Just then Dude entered. He was clad in a khadi kurta pajama and was wearing a Gadhi topi.

“Congrats, Dude,” Unthonee said, rushing up to him and shaking his hand, “I must say you are a very lucky man.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Dude replied and turning to Makhmal said, “Sweetheart, I have finalized all the arrangements for the honeymoon. Immediately after the receiption we’ll fly to Zurich. We’ll stay there for a week. There is an international conference of women politicians. You will be leading the delegation from Mera Bharat Mahaan.”

“I will not attend any conference. These intellectual melas bore me.”

“Darling, don’t be silly. You don’t have to sit there throughout the day. Just go for an hour, speak for ten minutes, pose for photographs and come back. I’ll write down the speech for you. You’ll only have to read it. This way our honeymoon will be sponsored by the government. We’ll also make some money on the TA and DA. From Zurich we’ll fly to London, from there to Paris and finally to California. That too will be official. We’ll be talking to the NRIs there and exploring the possibilities of joint ventures in Ulta Pradesh.”

“But these meetings will be so boring.”

“You don’t have to worry about all that. I’ll take care of everything. You just go around shopping. The NRI wives will guide you.”

“Dudesy, let us go to Germany. I always wanted to see Rome and the Eiffel Tower.”

“Darling, Rome is in Italy and the Eiffel Tower we will anyway be seeing in Paris. Anyway, if you are very keen we can visit some NRI’s in Rome too.”

“Dude, Makhmal, if you don’t mind can I take some photographs of the two of you?”

“Why not?’ Dude said and pulling Makhmal close struck a romantic pose. Unthonee started clicking. 

– Continued

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August 5, 2007

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