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I recently read that
love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife
treats me like toxic waste.
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When a man steals your
wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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Marriage is like a cage;
one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
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After marriage, husband
and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other,
but still they stay together.
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By all means marry. If
you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll
become a philosopher. -- Socrates
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A happy marriage is a
matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
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Woman inspires us to
great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -- Dumas
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The great question...
which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman
want? -- Freud
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The gods gave man fire
and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he
invented marriage.
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I had some words with my
wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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I don't worry about
terrorism. I was married for two years.
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There's a way of
transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's
called marriage.
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The secret of a
successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
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I haven't spoken to my
wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I've had bad luck with
both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
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My wife doesn't care
what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.'
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The husband who wants a
happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook
open. -- Groucho Marx
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My wife only has 2
complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.
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You know what I did
before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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A good wife always
forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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Marriage is the only war
where one sleeps with the enemy.
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A man inserted an 'ad'
in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred
letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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A woman was telling her
friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he
before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A
multi-millionaire".
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Yesterday scientists in
the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed
that all 100 of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive...
