Dear All Aspiring Presidential Candidates,
Now that the President has been chosen, I still write this letter to all of you because this letter will address all future aspirants after five years. Of course I hope that our present incumbent will stay for five long years. He has already complained of his age.
I am addressing all the aspirants in an inchoate manner because I do not know who they will be. But I know by now, what they must do or not do to stake their candidature legitimately.
They must not play any card: minority, majority, religious,tribal etc. The people of India do not like this game excepting at home during holidays or in trains, when they have nothing to do.
Secondly they must ensure cross voting to respect the dignity of this position which cuts across party loyalties. If they do think about parties they can throw them when they win. At the same time if they belong to a particular party, they must mobilize all the support from it and so ensure that there is no cross voting. So, in a sense they must ensure both cross voting and no cross voting, so that no one will be cross. Cross will negate cross, the only thing is that things may turn out to be a bit crass.
Also they must not slander their opponents openly. They can do this clandestinely by sending text messages and cartoons to people in general. They will have to be a little careful about cartoons though as both R.K. Laxman and Mario Miranda are no more, so there will be no one to vet these cartoons.
Sorry, there is a Chief Minister who is a specialist in this, and that person can be a referee because she is a whistle blower.
Next please, please see that your signatures tally, this is very crucial,its like signing a cheque, so please cross check. Always proclaim what you are going to do, how you will be the unconventional President not the rubber stamp.
What else can I say? I am sorry for being so premature, five years is a long time and by that time a lot of water will flow, so please be sure that you do not drown in it. Yours etc...