I see many boys and girls seem to be wavering in their minds whether to marry right away or postpone the crucial decision.
In the Indian milieu of the arranged marriages, certain doubts are sure to lurk in the young minds which may be a result of the culture shock as well as insecurity with the given financial backgrounds on the either side. The reason for the dilemma is also traceable to the personal fears that the prospective partner may not be in tune with established ways and attitudes vs. the current lifestyles or cultures. This is even after he or she is found suitable in the physical characteristics.
The next significant fear is that the other person might not like ones’ color, education, job, physical size, social background, intelligence, tastes, goals, dreams, ambitions, etc. Finally some doubt still lurk, whether he or she will move well with the new family, kith and kin and friends as freely, within the established bounds and expectations.
When it is the case of an arranged marriage-cum-love marriage, most of these questions (if not all) are ignored or tolerated for some time more at least. But the pressure from the partner’s kith and kin, as well as the society may force a partner to jump into the new gear faster than usual, creating some anxiety.
It is a different story once the wedding bells stopped ringing in minds and a baby is being conceived. Then onwards most differences between the partners are excused in the joint families as the elderly start loving their grandchildren in the offing. Then onwards, most marital partners get along well like the bullocks on either side of the yoke and carry on the burden of the wedded life in their stride.
Flowing are some of the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs to my limited knowledge), to be examined and resolved before entering into the lifetime contract of marriage.
- Am I ready psychologically and emotionally for a change of my status forever?
- Will I be financial independent after the wedding?
- Do I have the courage to express myself freely in front of my partner and in-laws?
- Can I accept the other half in totality, and share my love 100%, while keeping another 100% (!) intact for other members of his or her family, and thus balance the both honestly and truthfully, evidently for everyone to see and acknowledge in the open?
- Can I make sure very fast, that I can satisfy the expectations of the other partner, whatever they shall be, in an understanding way and still enjoy the resultant equation honestly without a compromise?
- Can I cook well the cooking liked by the other partner and improve on that basic ingredient for a happy marital bliss, or enjoy the food made by the other partner without any qualms or complaints, at least in the short run and,
- Can I become his or her ideal alter ego?