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Knock Them Off
by Smitha Chakravarthula Bookmark and Share
 

Though not everyone is blessed with perfect features it is indeed within our hands to develop a great personality to knock people off their feet. The Italian men are world famous for their suave charm. A bit of charm can turn a nobody into "somebody" everyone wants to know and charm costs no money. Just a little bit of initiative and lots of practice. No one can become a very sophisticated person within overnight. It takes time. The earlier you develop these qualities, the better. With a little bit of practice and time these mannerism will become second nature to you and you won't even know you are doing them.

So guys and girls here are the ten commandments to develop a great personality and be on everyone's party list –

  1. The most important and the simplest of these rules is obvious. "Smile". It really does improve your face value and makes you look approachable. No one likes to be around a person who has a glum face and looks as if he has just returned from a funeral.

    It is not only enough to smile. The way you smile is also important. A smile should make you look attractive, not hideous.

    If you have large teeth, smile in such a way that you don't show your teeth a lot. A mere glimpse is enough. And never never show your gums while smiling. It is absolutely revolting.

    In case you have a wide mouth don't smile widely too. It make it appear as if your lips spread from one ear to another and will only end up making you look funny. People will end up laughing at you rather than laughing with you. A beautician friend of mine advised trying out different smiles in front of the mirror and sticking to the one that suits you the best. Though it may sound too mechanical, it pays rich dividends.

  2. Next point to pay attention to is your posture. Stand erect. It doesn't matter how tall or how short you are. If you can carry your height well, you will look very graceful. Always stand or sit with your shoulders drawn and tummy tucked in.

    Lift your chin high. If you sit with a drooping chin, you will create an illusion of having a double chin no matter how thin you are. This doesn't mean you have to carry around a military style. Be at your ease, yet don't have a stoop or an ungainly demeanor. A good posture makes lot of difference to your appearance whether you are a guy or a girl. A good posture isn't merely for models or movie stars, they are for every day people like us too.

    Most important don't be self conscious. If you are horribly self conscious, people around you will become conscious and uncomfortable too. People don't really notice us as much as we think they do. If you are comfortable with yourself and present an image of being comfortable in your own skin, people will be automatically drawn to you. And believe me, pretences always show through. If you are not confident, it will be seen through, how much ever you try to hide it.

  3. Dress well. It applies to both the sexes. It is NOT macho to be shabbily dressed. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a pair of dirty jeans, a smelly shirt and a shaggy face. Though you don't need to look like you have just stepped out of Vogue, you can at least be well dressed. This doesn't necessarily demand a huge wardrobe or a set of designer dresses. Even a pair of jeans and a cotton shirt looks elegant and cool if it is clean and well ironed.

    Be sure that what you wear suits you. What looks great on your friend need not work for you. While choosing your apparel keep in mind your appearance and figure, If you are of a heavier build stick to neutral shades like brown, grey etc. Go on for brighter shades only of you have the perfect build.

    Bigger checks give an illusion of volume and suit thinner men while guys with heavier build look great in stripes, smaller checks etc, Decide what goes for you and find your perfect apparel. Similarly girls with a petite figure can splurge on tight clothing, short tops etc while those with a plumper figure must go on for clothes that have a narrow fit but aren't tight. This way your figure will be accentuated, instead of being flaunted. With the boom in the garment industry there is something for everyone, you just have to find the right apparel. If your budget restricts you to a limited wardrobe go in for separates which can be mixed and matched and blended. This will give an illusion of a larger wardrobe.

    Most important try on a dress before you buy it. What looks good on store hanger may not necessarily give you a million dollars look.

  4. As important as your dress and maybe even more important is your grooming. A well groomed person always looks appealing. And the days of grooming being a female terrain are long gone. Nowadays men are equally conscious about grooming. Contrary to popular belief grooming and dressing are two different things. Dressing is what you wear and grooming is how you carry it off. Grooming has a personal stamp and conveys the style of a person. And grooming doesn't take a lot of time. Just ensure a few basic things and you can rest assured that you are well groomed.

    Ensure that your hair is trimmed regularly and styled in a manner both flattering to your face and one that is easily manageable. For people with no patience to spend lots of times tending to their hair, a short style is the best. With a little effort you hair can be your crown glory and add to attraction no matter whether you are a guy or a gal. Ensure that you wear co-coordinated outfits. A white shirt looks god awful with off-white pants whatever maybe your fashion statement.

  5. Next to consider is your gait. Next to your face what people notice most about you is the way you walk. The amount of importance attached to one's gait is highlighted by the fact that in olden days young men and women of the titled families were trained to walk properly. Women were made to walk taking small steps with a book on their heads. They had to perform a virtual balancing act. But it definitely put their gait right. A graceful, confident gait manages to impress people while people with a clumsy, heavy walk are written off as "a no=personality-show" though actually they might be very intelligent and witty.

    Take small steps while walking. Walk erect and don't walk looking at the ground or at the sky. Besides the chances of your flooring some poor person, it also looks very inelegant.

  6. Speaking of witticism, if you don't have a good sense of humor develop one. Every one likes to laugh and so are drawn to people with a good sense of humor. And if happen to fall in the category of people who simply can't make a joke, have a collection of anecdotes to relate to people. No one cares who made it up as long as it is funny. Most important learn to deliver a joke properly. Nothing is more tormenting than listening to a person who CANNOT make a joke that makes one laugh. It falls flat and the people around are left bewildered not knowing when they are supposed to laugh. A joke is supposed to be delivered with a poker face and the punch line is supposed to come in the END. There is no fun in a joke if everyone can guess the punch line.

  7. Next to tackle is your mannerism. By mannerisms I mean the thousand and one little things that we do everyday without even being aware of them. Though these are like our identity tags we got to curb the bad ones that we pick up easily. A loud laugh, biting nails, fiddling with an ornament all look disgusting and should be curbed. On the other hand make it a point to develop as many appealing habits as possible. If you see a particular mannerism in any person emulate it. There is nothing wrong in emulating a person with good mannerism.

  8. Next on the list are your inter personal skills. This includes your interaction with both people you know and those you are meeting for the first time. Except a few who have the gift of gab, most of us are tongue tied at the very moment when it is crucial to speak out whether it is at an interview or a party. Here are some thumb rules for such people.

  9. Another thing to remember is "listening". Don’t monopolies any conversation. No one likes to be talked to all the time. Listen and make the other person feel that what he or she is saying is of interest to you. Make him or her feel that he is the most interesting person in the world and there is no other place you had rather be at the moment and you are sure to be a hit.

    • As far as possible be prepared before hand as to what you are going to speak. Though this is not possible under all circumstances, this is relevant when you are going for an interview for a college admission. Make a note of all that you wish to say. write it once if you wish and carry it with you so that you can have a look before you face the squad.
    • Be polite and courteous. Knock before you enter a room and be respectful. The little book of gentlemen's rules need not thrown away. And in the age of gender equality ladies can adopt it too. Pull a chair for the person next to you. Open the doors for people behind you and so on. Chivalry never fails to work it's charm.
    • Make it a point to greet everyone you know with a smile and a cheery "howdy". People love to be remembered and acknowledged. Remember people by their name. It is okay to identify the girl next to you in English class as Blondie for a few days but after that it is imperative that you know her name and use it.
    • Look people in the eye when addressing them. Apart from making them feel you are confident it also prevents their attention from meandering. It is very difficult to pay attention to what a person is saying when he speaks to you looking over you or at the table.
    • While speaking of inter-personal skills another point that comes to my mind is the language spoken. Have a good command over the language you are speaking. This doesn't mean you have to know the Webster's Dictionary by heart. Even simple words spoken in the right manner without errors give beauty to the language. If you have a bad command of language it will draw attention from what you are saying and the whole purpose of the conversation is lost. Pay attention to the grammar of the language and the accent. The gender, the tenses etc go a long way in making or breaking the language and effectively making or breaking your impression.
  10. Finally be natural and confident. Don’t try to be someone else. If you are a quiet mouse you can never become a social butterfly. But you can definitely become a wonderful and sociable mouse.

Meticulously applying these ten commandments is sure to turn you into a charming personality. In the beginning you may try maintaining a personality balance sheet and keep it somewhere where you can reach it at nay time. Make a deposit for every good habit you inculcate and a withdrawal for every bad habit you fail to chuck. Persist in your efforts till your personality statement shows only deposits. At that point you can rest assured that you have got at least an enviable ounce of Italian charm.

1-Mar-2001
More by :  Smitha Chakravarthula
 
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