Why Can't An Adult Be Like A Child? by Ramendra Kumar SignUp
Boloji.com
Boloji
Home Kabir Poetry Blogs BoloKids Writers Contribute Search Contact Site Map Advertise RSS Login Register
Boloji
Channels

In Focus

Analysis
Cartoons
Education
Environment
Going Inner
Opinion
Photo Essays

Columns

A Bystander's Diary
Business
My Word
PlainSpeak
Random Thoughts

Our Heritage

Architecture
Astrology
Ayurveda
Buddhism
Cinema
Culture
Dances
Festivals
Hinduism
History
People
Places
Sikhism
Spirituality
Vastu
Vithika

Society & Lifestyle

Family Matters
Health
Parenting
Perspective
Recipes
Society
Teens
Women

Creative Writings

Book Reviews
Ghalib's Corner
Humor
Individuality
Literary Shelf
Love Letters
Memoirs
Musings
Quotes
Ramblings
Stories
Travelogues
Workshop

Computing

CC++
Computing Articles
Flash
Internet Security
Java
Linux
Networking
Family Matters Share This Page
Why Can't An Adult Be Like A Child?
by Ramendra Kumar Bookmark and Share
 

The other day I heard my colleague tell his 22 year old son, "Come on Ritesh! Stop behaving like a kid. You are grown up now. You should behave like an adult."

This morning I saw a newspaper headline - "Parents should be good role models for their kids". The conversation and the headline set me thinking. Somewhere, somehow, aren't we getting our perspectives muddled up?

We frequently confuse the two words childish and childlike. And the confusion is not because of semantics but due to our lack of understanding of the real meaning of the two words. To bring out the difference let me use the concept of Transactional Analyses (T.A). According to TA we all have three ego states - Parent, Adult and Child. The child ego state can be subdivided into Rebellious Child , Natural Child and Little Professor. 

The Rebellious Child is the one who throws tantrums, is unreasonable, who sulks. His behavior can be described as childish.  The Natural Child as the name suggests is fun loving, filled with amazement and wonder and is happy and gay. The Little Professor is creative. He is the one who is artistic, innovative. He is responsible for all the creativity in the world. According to me the Natural Child and the Little Professor can be described as childlike. 

In mythology if Duryodhana symbolizes childish behavior, Lord Krishna epitomizes childlike qualities - that of both Natural Child as well as Little Professor. What we have to do is to control the childish Duryodhana in each one of us and encourage the childlike Krishna.

If we observe children carefully we find that basically they are childlike. Their Natural Child and Little Professor is very high. Only when they come into conflict with Parental authority or Adult admonishments does the Rebellious Child - the childish streak surface. Instead of encouraging their childlike qualities what we do is suppress them, put them in binds, thereby encouraging childish behavior. In our confusion between childlike and childish behavior we end up winning the battle but losing the war.

Not only should we encourage and nurture the Little Professor and Natural Child in every child we adults should reactivate these qualities which are lying dormant in all of us.

In our quest for attaining mature, responsible adulthood, we tend to stifle the child in each of us. We spend our lives in pursuit of happiness and peace of mind. We look for happiness in extrinsic things, little realizing that happiness is very much an intrinsic quality. 

Before I elucidate let me ask you a simple question? Tell me who amongst us is the happiest of all? To find an answer to this question observe any small child. Watch him in any activity- whether he is flying a kite, or climbing a tree, whether he is in a temple or in the middle of a puddle - he is totally involved. And happy. He gives his hundred percent to the moment and experiences joy.

Watch a child is looking at a rainbow. He is filled with complete wonder. Is he concerned about the heavy rain that preceded it or the scorching sunlight which might follow? No, he is just soaking in the glory of the moment. When you take your four year old to the temple and tell him, "Now close your eyes and pray, Lord Hanuman will come and bless you." What does he do? Does he question you, does he doubt? No, he accepts your word one hundred percent. 

When he is playing with friends - does he pick and choose that he will play with only those friends whose fathers own a car, or who are Hindus or those who speak a particular language ? No, he goes by the language of his heart. He doesn't, like you listen to the prejudices of his intellect. 

We all were childlike once. We all possessed these wondrous qualities like unconditional love, trust, playfulness and simplicity. Somewhere on the road to adulthood we have shed these childlike virtues and adopted fear, mistrust, prejudice, doubt and selfishness. Not only have we forsaken childlike virtues, we have also started looking down upon them as being immature and not sufficiently adult or grown up.

Does our culture celebrate complicated adulthood at the cost of pure and simple childhood? No, it doesn't. Our most celebrated God, who for thousands of years has held men, women and children in thrall is Lord Krishna - the Makhan Chor Nandkishore. As mentioned earlier he is the epitome of all that is innocent, creative, pure, playful, pristine and joyous. We have images of him as a child stealing maakhan, teasing Radha, flirting with the Gopies, playing with the Gawalas et al. But as a grown up too, Krishna doesn't don the mantle of an adult and become severe, grave and foreboding. His interaction with Kunti, his banter with Panchali and his gentle leg-pulling of Balram and the mischievous taunting and teasing of Duryodhana and Shakuni, are all manifestations of the Natural Child and the Little Professor. 

I think it is high time that all adults invoke the Little Professor, the Natural Child, the Makhan Chor Kanhaiya within them. 

As Sri Sri Ravishankar, the founder of Art of Living Foundation, says, "Normally all you adults are worried : "When will our children grow up"? My concern is : "When will you adults become children?" 

And if this happens then very soon we will have headlines like - "Children should be the role models for their parents."

And my colleague will probably be telling his 22 year old son, "Come on son. Be natural, be childlike, why are you curbing your impulses?"    

28-Dec-2000
More by :  Ramendra Kumar
 
Views: 3428
 
Top | Family Matters







    A Bystander's Diary     Analysis     Architecture     Astrology     Ayurveda     Book Reviews
    Buddhism     Business     Cartoons     CC++     Cinema     Computing Articles
    Culture     Dances     Education     Environment     Family Matters     Festivals
    Flash     Ghalib's Corner     Going Inner     Health     Hinduism     History
    Humor     Individuality     Internet Security     Java     Linux     Literary Shelf
    Love Letters     Memoirs     Musings     My Word     Networking     Opinion
    Parenting     People     Perspective     Photo Essays     Places     PlainSpeak
    Quotes     Ramblings     Random Thoughts     Recipes     Sikhism     Society
    Spirituality     Stories     Teens     Travelogues     Vastu     Vithika
    Women     Workshop
RSS Feed RSS Feed Home | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Site Map
No part of this Internet site may be reproduced without prior written permission of the copyright holder.
Developed and Programmed by ekant solutions