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Love Letters Share This Page
50 Years Hence
by Aparna Chatterjee Bookmark and Share
 

You wouldn't be here on this earth, neither would I...

Just like our grand-parents and great-grandparents... We hardly know what life they led, what turmoil they went through, what were their reflections on life...

Death infuses so much of 'nothingness' into our existence...

When our forefathers lived, all their emotions, feelings and thoughts were of so much paramount importance and relevance not only to them but to those playing pivotal roles in their lives...their parents, their siblings, their friends and lovers, their children, their co-workers and colleagues...

And now when they are no more there...whatever happened to those nitty-gritty feelings...all vanished in the thin air...just like they are now 'out of sight' for us...those everyday little thoughts and responses which meant the whole world to them and to their peers, none of them exist now...so much irrelevance, so much triviality, so much non-existence, Mortality makes of us...

So I was just wondering about the relative importance of our thoughts and actions...how very time-based and limited to life, our relevance is...

At the moment, every single view-point of ours influences our diurnal decisions and choice. And sometimes we get carried away to the point of despair, desolation and disappointment if our expectations are not fulfilled...yet we feel so positive at times, hoping for new experiences and changes in life...feeling happy and grateful about whatever comfort God grants us...be those physical, material, academic or spiritual milestones...

Amongst my grand-parents, I was quite close to my Grand-Ma...though I could only visit her on my annual visits to our home-town in Asansol every year or she used to come over to our place in Nainital, once every few years...And I do have cherishable memories of her...like trimming her nails with my nail-cutter...as she was quite frail and shaky to cut her own nails...so she always entrusted me this task, when I was around.

And she used to tell me that I'll go abroad because I looked like a memsahib to her, some sahib from abroad will come and wed me off...I used to blush and laugh at her assumptions...though never knew it would be so coincidental and partly true...that I would get married abroad.

And I do miss her so much at times...yet, I wonder, that with her demise a decade ago, all her human feelings, thoughts and sentiments also vanished with her life's last journey to death...

May be, her soul is still somewhere in the sky, amongst the twinkling stars in the night, or in the gentle breeze that touches me ever so often...or she may have taken re-birth in another home...or is waiting to be ordained by God into another human's body...or has attained Nirvana - Freedom from The Cycle of Rebirth - Salvation. So many possibilities...Yet No Definite Answer.

All the above thoughts about life and death make me feel the futility of existence ... yet, we are not Robots...we are humans who think, feel and perceive, acting as per our influences in life...so even if we consider ourselves in a continuous journey from life to death to re-birth and so on and so forth...such a consideration doesn't help us negate the everyday little 'ifs and buts' we go through in our diurnal survival of the fittest on this earth.

We are prone to react if things go wrong...we do feel sad, happy, hopeful, morose, thinking about our present and past life events...even though we know that after our death, all these human instincts of ours become non-existent and irrelevant...for we ourselves don't know where death would take us...what would be the ultimate destination of our soul.

So 50 years hence, I wouldn't be there, neither would you...yet besides our happy thoughts, we also nurse some grudges and hard feelings between each other or amongst our family, friends and foes...but that is what makes us 'human'...it hurts to feel...yet we cannot help feeling...can we ?

What is done cannot be undone...the past was tumultuous between you and me...it has had its repercussions...left behind scars and stains of a tainted relationship...it is no more the same...you know that and I know it too...

And it is so hard to pick up the broken pieces of a shattered glass, and start afresh...

However, one thing is for sure, whatever we do in our present life, the results of our actions, be those good or bad, are borne by our coming generations...our children, their kids and their next generation...long-term consequences could be many. Hence, we should act sensibly as responsible citizens of this human world. Because we as well-wishers of our progeny, would always want to wish them well in their life's endeavors...

That is a long, 'boring' mail for now..! I always come to bug you so much with my boring thoughts...yet, when these thoughts overflow, I need to contain those, and because you are my Diary...I make notes to you.  

Adios,
Apu

19-Feb-2006
More by :  Aparna Chatterjee
 
Views: 2759
 
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