I Should Have Told Him... by Antara Karvade SignUp
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I Should Have Told Him...
by Antara Karvade Bookmark and Share
 

Those were the golden days of my life. Higher studies, job, nice friend circle, my perfect looks and what not. I was enjoying life and learning the creativity of movements. The environment in my office was a little bit orthodox. The family culture, one-man reporting etc. as it was the office with 80% married workers so what else one can expect about the atmosphere!

Then one day 'he' arrived! Owner of a pleasing personality, good height and impressive communication skills were some of the noted positives of him by me at the very first meeting. He was, as I will call him Rohit the fresh postgraduate and son of our general manager's best friend. He was in a same rank as I was and it was no doubt a daily chance to talk, play, eat and time pass with him.

Rohit as he told me later was impressed with me at very first sight. In fact I was 5'8' and with proper look and he was 6'1'. We started working together. One of my co-workers Seema was impressed with Rohit as she too told me later that 'it was love at first sight.'

Gradually we grew up with our friendship. Seema, Rohit and myself were the youngest group of office. As our working was together and due to that we have to move in city together or have to discuss some matters, no doubt Seema was taking too much of interest in Rohit. Whenever she found a chance to go out with him she was behaving like something will happen today.

'You know Tolly (as she use to call me by this name) today at least he should say something that what he feels in his heart about me? Should I again do the make up? Or my dress up is okay to go out with him?'

These were some of the common questions she used to ask me while any visit outside the office with Rohit.

And one day, I was enjoying my Sunday afternoon when I got a phone call. He was Rohit. I was not expecting him as we were spending near about full day with each other's and were having separate friend circle for Sundays or evenings after office.

'Tolly this is Rohit'
'What happened dear?'
'I just want to tell you something'
'Ya! Come up'
'That Seema '
'
'She has crossed her limits today'
'What?'
'Ya'
'What you want to say exactly?'
'Tolly! She sent me a flower bouquet of red roses and few chocolates with a proposal card'
'Ha ha ha. Nice moves dear. Then what you wanna do? Just have fun!'
'Tolly you...'
'What happened?'
'In fact. I'
'I like'.'
'Someone else?'
'O ya'
'Who is she dear?'
'.'
'Come on Rohit come up what's your confusion?'
'I just don't know Tolly but I am not gonna have Seema in my life'
'Fine then let her know like that calmly. You know she is a very sensitive girl'
'Ya! I will do that. Should I call her now and say?'
'Sure'
'Thanks Tolly'
'Bye dear'.

After this we found next day that Seema had resigned and got a job out of city. We both knew what happened. Rohit was really confused. Daily we use to talk about this matter for long.

Then I found that there is a bit of change in Rohit's behavior. He was taking too much of care of mine. Whether I had my lunch on time, my tea break, my parcels and off course half of my work he was doing like its his own responsibility.

I was feeling uncomfortable while working on my system, as I was able to judge that he is constantly staring at me from his desk. Then he started to accompany me while leaving office. Our residences were in opposite directions but he daily used to say, 'I just wanna meet one of my friend at that area' or 'my moms bank is around here only'.

Then slowly he started saying 'I just want to spend more time more with you'.

Rohit was a perfect person but since last two years I was having 'Shivam' in my life. He was my collage friend. We studied together and now he was working out of city. We were having confession of love 2 years back and then he was in contact with me. We were trying to convince our parents for our marriage as now 'Shivam' was promoted and had a good income.

Daily I decided to clear the matter with Rohit but he was coming up with such an innocent argument, which was difficult to avoid. So many times in our phone conversations he said like 'hay Tolly how foolish that seema was! Suppose I say that Tolly I love you and you say no then should I leave the office? Say Tolly what will you do if I say like that to you?'

In such a situation I was really feeling awkward but then I would change the topic and turn towards office matters. Here Shivam and my parents were ready for our marriage. Now I was in a paradox knowing that Rohit madly loved me while I was in love with Shivam.  I was silent in front of Rohit. If I was not answering to his proposals this was also right that I was not saying an outright 'no' to him.

Then suddenly I took a hard decision. I stopped talking with Rohit for two days and during that period I took my M.D. in confidence. I told that within a month I am gonna marry and will be leaving this place even so please relieve me as soon as possible. Things were done. I left the office saying taking 1-month study leave. Rohit obviously had his own queries but I avoided him. Then I got married and happily said good bye to my city.

It is going to be a five years long journey since then. I am having a 3 year old little Shivam with me. And I know Rohit is still working there. One of my friends approached him for her cousin's proposal of marriage and he come up that he won't be marrying in whole life'.

My simple silent was my sin. Now I really feel sorry for him. I did injustice with his innocent feelings. I played with his heart knowing the fact that I won't be able to be with him for long.

Still my moral pinches me that I should have told him'.

I am sorry Rohit !  

4-May-2003
More by :  Antara Karvade
 
Views: 1298
 
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