During my college studies I came across all sorts of malpractices, favouritism, nepotism, corruption, conventions, customs and obsolete traditions being followed in all the fields of human endeavour whether it is in education or judiciary, in politics or bureaucracy, in religion or society, etc. crippling the developmental activities of the people and came to the conclusion that everything had to be corrected, reoriented and reformed in order to allow healthy developments of the world to go on smoothly and congenially satisfying the sincere, good and honest people of the world. Before completing my college education, finally I once and for all decided to become a free lance writer which profession suited me to my nature more perfectly than anything else in order to analyse all the matters concerning human life, bring out the best things and truth in them and suggest suitable solutions for all the problems therein paving the way for a better world and in this way do a noble service to mankind though I would be doing joint family business immediately after education as there was no other go for me then.
In fact I had discussed all those things and more with my only best friend, Pugazhendhi who could understand me more better than anybody else in the world and expressed to him of my heart felt desire to do something lofty, high, noble and sublime through my writings. With great surprise he appreciated me of such attitude, happily praised me to have almost become an ambitionist and wished me not to leave that ambition or vow in order to make my life interesting, happier and a noble one as according to him I looked to be a noble and wonderful friend which conclusion how he arrived at I don’t know even today! But one thing I was sure whether I was noble or not it was worth trying to know about all the noble things of life and the world and to express them all to the world people and at least for that life was worth living. And that gave me the necessary confidence and an adventurous spirit to go ahead with my newly found noble ambition finally.
Through my own experience I came to know that I was not the master of my own fate, that fate [Stars] was the master controlling the affairs of men and that though man proposed many things God [Time and Men] only could dispose everything. The final decision I took to become a writer taking for granted that both the business and the family activities would not come in my way and affect my writing works. But contrary to my expectations, business and family obligations blocked my onward march towards fulfilling my noble ambition. To an enquiry of my friend I struggled to give a confident reply; after sometime I expressed my feeling in a poem of my position to him and his reply encouraged me to go ahead in my pursuit once I got the appropriate time.
The Frozen Ambition
All thoughts so nebulous and useless
Full of animation over frozen ambition,
Pall of yours pale of his own verse
Pass on the days with rosy gaze.
Highly noble concept of yours regarding him
Now conflicts in his heart of his real worth.
How narrow the mind of man is!
And how vast the world of knowledge is!
Who else can check the crescendo of this narrow world,
When his mind's been beaten up upside down;
Against his interest, his happiness, his dream;
Is it you or the Lord to give him respite?
No, no, nothing can be said about that now.
Is it against his nature to have chosen the field of letters?
Perhaps the Time is out of tune with his noble ambition.
Noble but no cold ambition will blow hot when the time comes.
Then the unprecedented thoughts of his heart,
A colourful miracle of rare choice,
In animation make his ambition shine wise;
And that time is not far off.
Urge to write Poetry after 17 Years
Most of the time I was out of station exploring the technical details of the business products we were dealing with. My full time occupation and responsibility completely blocked my most cherished idea of literary pursuit and I led a mechanical life with others of that type. I was so much terribly disturbed, disappointed and dejected both emotionally and intellectually that I cried inwardly in loneliness giving birth to the poem, Lonesome Lovely Night!
It is a lonesome lovely night
I spend with what an awful might!
A wholesome lonely fight I do
When my status has become so!
In this troublesome loosely gait I grunt
When I recollect my unfulfilled plight!
For a change despite many disturbances, distractions and nuisance I wrote one or two poems now and then. That was the thing I could do though I had a great longing to write novels of my interest. Nearly 17 years had gone away in that fashion! So, I introspectively investigated my position with regard to writing in general and felt it would be better to write poetry about anything and everything that came to my mind to get some satisfaction I was longing for in that line.
Likewise I wrote three collections of poems under the titles like Day and Night Poems, Dreams and Realities and The Ultimate One within a period of five years. Then printing them in the form of a good poetry book was completely out of scope in our cosmopolitan town! At last one invitation printing company, Dawn Press by name came forward to print my book in their small press under my supervision. On discussion the press owner agreed to print all the three into one book and the idea gave me a thrill of publishing all of my poems in one lot!
Dreams, Ideas And Realities!
When corrections were made on the print out papers of poems it looked like a big battle field! After three copy corrections, the complete matter was made ready for off set printing. When the printing of the whole book was over, the printer asked me about the book cover design, which was also finished well. Then at the last minute we came to know that we had completely forgotten to think about the title for the poetry book! Within five minutes my mind making a brain storming work hinted at a title called Dreams, Ideas and REalities! That became the title of my poetry book. And my name is destined to be attached to it forever! After four years an international UK publishing house, Minerva Press by name accepted to publish it for the world poetry lovers. Everyone appreciated it; but there was not much returns for the investment made for poetry. Is it the fate of poetry book everywhere in the world?
World English Poet
Now I am a World English Poet! Times have changed and the style of writing poetry too has changed. But mine is different from the common lot and it is described as one of a kind by the reviewers. I have adopted spoken language for writing all of my poems. In poetry we use imagination like intellect in prose to express truth. For this purpose the new poetic form in spoken language is very useful and I have also preferred non-rhyming rhythmic poetry for writing my ideas freely and naturally. Finally I have to say that as far as my poetry is concerned I have cut sculptures, drawn pictures and composed music not with hammer, brush and trumpet but with the words people know and speak everywhere in the world.