It's not Sympathy, It's Not Sacrifice, It's Not Compromise
It's Knowing, It's Feeling, It's Love!
This scene that I wish to share is from an old Hindi film 'Satyakam'. The hero is a simple and honest engineer. His family suffers financial upheaval due to his uncompromising ethics and values. He then suffers a terminal illness and gets hospitalized. Even though the wife is loving and supportive she feels overwhelmed and frustrated by the uncertain future and mounting debts. Seeing the opportunity, a fraudulent contractor persuades the wife to convince her husband to sanction a pending contractual tender in exchange for a huge sum of money. She feels helpless and tells her plight to her husband. She angrily blames his staunch values for the poor financial status and a bleak, insecure future of their child. The husband, who was mute due to the severe illness, signs the papers with a silent smile. She is shocked at how easily he agreed and cannot withstand his faltering from the principles just for her sake. With an outburst she tears the papers. He is still smiling silently. She asks him "Did you know I will do that?" And he nods with a smile overflowing with love - I know you!
When I think of this scene there are two messages I would like to reflect upon:
Within a committed couple, love streaked with self-centered interest is not uncommon. Here we get a feel for unconditional love - quite a rarity in daily life. The otherwise obstinate husband is prepared to shed his staunch values for the sake of his wife. Similarly the wife prefers to face a bleak future than cause him to falter from his moral values at a critical juncture in his life when he is faced with a terminal illness.
Underlying the transaction there is a latent momentum - a complete understanding that lubricates small frictions and prevents unnecessary magnification of problems. This constant practice of differentiating transient eruptions (due to mind's turbulence) from the true loving self can anchor rocking relationships.
Isn't love about being one with the other? Then where is the other?
Sunanda that was a really beautiful movie story with a very thoughtful explanation. It reminds me of an incident between Guru Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and his disciple Vivekananda told to me by my father when I was a child. Vivekananda wished to ask the goddess for material things and wanted his guru to bless him to do so. Ramakrishna was normally against "asking" the goddess for things. In the end Ramakrishna tells Vivekananda to go into the shrine and ask the goddess whatever he desired promising that his wish will be granted. Vivekananda goes and tries several times but cannot get himself to make a request. When he comes back to his guru, Ramakrishna smilingly nods at him and says - I know you!