The Fear by Vivek Aiyyar SignUp
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The Fear
by Vivek Aiyyar
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  It was a cold winter evening,
I was awakened by a wolf howling in the moonlight,
I had no idea how many days, months or years
I had been sleeping,
My castle wore a deserted look,
My mind was blank, blank were the pages of my book.

The happy days long gone were now a distant memory,
I heard the voices of people I knew,
Parents, wife, children, friends, brothers
Questions many, answers were but a few

Was the castle dark or was I blinded by these evil times?
I lit a candle and walked down the stairs,
My shadow seemed inhuman and cast fearful forms on the moss eaten castle walls,
Was this the same place were fear and sadness could never call,
How did my life in such darkness fall?

I have very confusing memories of the past,
All I know is that of my proud race I was now the last,
The darkness had befallen us somewhere during spring,
The advent of a stranger brought this downfall,
There were rumors that he stayed on the outskirts of the village.

He took the children first, then he returned for the women
And then one by one he took from me all that I love,
I was broken, I was bitter, I sought nothing but his blood
I wanted revenge, hell fire burnt in my eyes
I was sick of the waiting game,
I had made up my mind, this beast I was going to tame.

As I approached the monsters dwelling the sick smell of rotten flesh struck me,
Gathering my courage I pushed the heavy door,
I saw the bodies of friends and family scattered all over the marble floor,
Tears filled my eyes as I called the beast’s name in vain,
My mind filled with childhood fears and tales of gore,
I then looked around the room and saw things of mine, which I thought I had lost,
The monster had robbed me of my precious gems,
Then all of a sudden I saw my handwriting all across the wall,
I had scribbled the names of my loved ones.
How? When did I walk this vile floor?

As I walked deeper into the evil house,
I remembered the sickness, I remembered the madness, I remembered the cell,
With a broken heart I walked forward till I reached the master chamber,
There I saw a broken mirror,
And then like a bolt of lightning it hit me,
The trickster was in me,
I was the villain, the villain was me.

I am not the kind of person who usually writes of love,
We walked different paths, our destinations different
But still I write today about it, because the feeling is true,
And I write about it now, because in my life now there is you.

When I first saw you, by the riverside
I could not take my eyes of you however hard I tried,
In your eyes I saw the answer, in your smile I saw the key,
Your lips were enchanting, your face could make the blind see.

You like love are a total stranger to me,
I walk in shadows while you in light roam free,
But I now will walk the other road,
I will walk love's road,
I will do so because I know I will find you on that road,
And you mean my life to me.

My every breath bears your name,
In every face your face I see,
Every voice is engulfed by your words,
Every thought of mine is overlaid by your shadow,
The sun shines now and the river seems to glow.

I will wait a lifetime for you,
I will step into the light for you,
Our roads will meet, in that I believe
But when they meet it will be upto you,
And then it is I who will question you,
Then will you walk away or with me afresh, anew.

March 16 ,2003
More by :  Vivek Aiyyar
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~*~
Solitude and other poems by Rajender Krishan 

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