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Individuality  
How To Handle Criticism?

Criticism can be of three kinds:

1. That which is justified and fair.
2. That which may be justified but is delivered in a hostile manner.
3. The unjustified or brutal put-down.

Most people react badly to all three types of criticism. We tend to take critical remarks as a direct attack on our total worth. People in the arts and professions, if they good at what they do, use constructive criticism to their advantage. But most of us go to great lengths to avoid getting criticized.

The first step in learning to handle criticism: Make sure you are really being criticized.

Most of the time, if you bother to examine the situation, no criticism was really intended.
Also, do not invite criticism by such asking insincere questions such as – Did you really like it? Or How did I do? If you can't take a frank and honest answer to such questions you are better off not asking them.

If a criticism is justified, see it in its proper perspective.

If a criticism is unjustified, practice control. Stay cool. Do not give the person who has unfairly criticized you the satisfaction of knowing he has scored.

It is always a good idea to consider the source. Criticism always hurts. But it should not hurt coming from the ignorant, the rude, the uninformed.

It is not a good idea to brood on criticism. Try to dispose it quickly by judging it as either deserved or unjustified. If it is deserved, make a resolution to correct the fault and then forget it. Do not let criticism poison a whole day.

And, hearing in mind how it hurts, you should not criticize others. 

Chetan Chopra., Ph.D.,
Consultant, Seattle, USA
March 2, 2003

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