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Jagoji – Let's Wake Up Experiences and events shape life. The year 1983 was an eventful one. My father had left us in January, having perhaps fulfilled his allotted mission on earth. I was 32. Presence of my loving wife and two young children, was a strong reason for me to find a purpose and overcome the shock of this grief. Yet it was not to be. I was in a state of shock and just unable to reconcile with the reality. Hallucinations, lethargy and a sense of futility filled my mind. I could not concentrate and was completely dissociated from my work as well. It was total disillusionment and I put everything on "ignore". Morbid thoughts, procrastination and chaos ruled. I was lost. This continued for almost 10 months and I found myself getting drowned with borrowings and debt.
This was a well-known shloka, and of course I knew its meaning! I immediately and involuntarily blurted -
But Shastriji was not happy with this answer. He interpreted it differently. He said, "Rajendra, the above meaning is not for you. For you this Shloka means -
Now this interpretation somehow appealed to me very deeply. Was my goal to be drenched with fear, hallucinations, morbid thoughts and chaos? Or was my goal to accept the reality and be very clear on my goals as a householder? I still remember the clarity of the question that emerged at that moment - it was quite in contrast to the clouded thinking that had overtaken my life for last several months. Of course the answer was obvious. –
Rajender
Krishan Maalok's Note: |
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