Memoirs      
How She Snagged Her Tiger
by Neha Girotra

What my wife wants, my wife gets. So when she set her heart on marrying me, a die-hard bachelor, I dint stand a chance. She reappeared in my world, one cold, slushy rainy Sunday. I cannot imagine what my life would have been if I hadn’t ventured out of my suburban haven and into the big bad city that horrible rainy day, to meet an old acquaintance whom I hadn’t been able to shake of my mind for the last eight years. But before I tell you how my charming wife snagged my unsuspecting heart, let me tell you a little about her and how we initially met.

My wife’s a stunning woman who turns heads everywhere she goes. It feels like a light bulb’s been switched on every time she enters a room. Like most women, she is a very complicated human being, and not even she really can determine what goes on in the pretty little mind of hers all the time. And therefore I no longer take the sudden fits of anger or squeals of frustrations personally. Having said that, I don’t think I’ve ever met a more compassionate and loving person either. Our home has, on more than one occasion, been converted into an animal dispensary, and you can on any given day, find a recovering animal lurking behind the couch or in the sock drawer or in my filing cabinet and worst of all, my shoes. She’s a passionate person who sets very high standards for herself and people around her. Her minds as beautiful and bewitching as her hazel eyes and brown curly locks, and when she smiles, she can drive all my worries away. It sometimes feels like she doesn’t possess a filter between her mouth and brain, and therefore often blurts the first thing that pops into her head, a disposition which has put me in several uncomfortable situations. She can read me like a book and will often catch a lie before I can even complete it. She will often cry for no reason and can drive me up the wall with her indecisiveness, but so help me god, if she’s away even for a day my whole world feels empty.

I first laid eyes on this beguiling creature when I was all of seventeen. Both our parents were in the armed forces and moved around a lot. I studied in a different city then and was home for a vacation when a trip to the library changed my life. There she was hiding behind a large leather bound copy of world war two. I couldn’t help but glance in her direction from time to time, but it was obvious she was interested in anything but a bloody battle that day. I moved around making as much noise as I could in a desperate attempt to catch her eye and I did. But all she did was smile, a smile that made me weak in the knees and woozy in the head, and then went straight back to her book. My disgust for the world wars was worst than it had been when I had to study them in school, but I knew a lost cause when I saw one. So I abandoned my quest and conceited defeat. The next day I was introduced to her by my unsuspecting kid brother, who when interrogated later, gave away that she was the most popular girl in town and I should forget any remote chance of romance with her, cause had just had a heart broken and sworn off men forever. I though that was a little drastic for a seventeen year old but wanted to sock the daylights out of the moron who’d broken her heart and to whom I was eternally grateful.

We became good friends forged a strong alliance over the next few days that I was there. We would go for long walks, play tennis, wonder what life had in store for us. I’ll never forget those lazy summer afternoons. When I met her for the last time, just before I was leaving I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that she was one of the most special people I’d ever met but all I did instead, was stand there and watch her walk away until she disappeared into the distance. I never saw her again for the next eight years, but thought of her all the time. I compared every woman I met to that memory of the perfect woman whom I’d only just known very briefly, which may have been the reason for my short-lived relationships and fear of commitment. And then one day, just like that I was given an opportunity to know her again. My kid brother mentioned that he had stumbled upon on her phone number through an old acquaintance, and remembered how dreamy I got whenever someone mentioned her name. So armed with her phone number I sat by the phone and contemplated for days wondering if I should call her, I mean what if she was busy or worst did not remember me.

I finally mustered the courage and called her a few days later, and as the phone on her end rang my heartbeat quickened, by the time she picked up the phone my heart was beating so fast, I was sure she could hear it on the other end. She answered and I thought I’d just had an attack, but I found my voice and surprise surprise she remembered me. We arranged to meet the next week. And so dressed in my Sunday best, unaware of the heavy rain I set out o meet the love of my life. We met ,and a few days later we were seeing each other. A few days passed into a few months and soon we’d been together 3 years. As each year passed her determination to move things to the next level became more and more persistent, the final straw was when her best friend decided to get married.

The day that will be written in history as my doom date. She raised hell with me for hours, about my fear of commitment and lack of maturity. But even though I loved her more than my life my bachelorhood was far too important to give up without a fight and I was unmovable in my decision to let things be as they were for a wee while more… an indefinite while more. So she packed her bags and left our little love nest, I, let her go knowing well shed be back in a few days and we’d both be bettor of then. But as days passed it was becoming clearer to me that she meant business this time, so I did what any smart man would, I tried to bribe her. I sent her flowers at work every single day, called her machine and left loving messages, but in vain.

Then one day, a month later, I was sitting at my desks day dreaming about happier times, when I was rudely interrupted from my slumber by a loud beep from my computer announcing the arrival of an email. I clicked on the mouse with irritation, and was delighted to see an email from my love. I opened the email with excitement, I hadn’t heard from her all this time and was desperate for word from her. And there it was in big bold capital letters

‘ I AM DELIGHTED TO INFORM YOU ALL, THAT AFTER YEARS OF WASTING TIME ON A LOST CAUSE, I’VE DECIDED TO GIVE IN TO AND OLD PURSUER AND WILL WALK THE ALTAR WITH HIM THIS VALENTINES DAY’

And just like that she handed me my life sentence. I was shattered, and then it hit me. My life as I knew it would be over if I let her marry that jerk. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. I rushed out of my office mumbling something about a headache, stopped over and picked up the biggest bunch of white roses, her favorites, and headed towards her work place. I marched up to her desk and there in front of everybody got down on my knees and begged for her forgiveness.

Then I said the four words I didn't think I would ever hear myself say ‘Will you marry me’ and without a fuss and a sly smile she said ‘yes’. It was then that I realized that I had been duped by the most beautiful girl in the world. We still laugh about the email that changed my life; she’d gotten the idea from a popular girlie magazine. I’m going to sue them one day. I think about it every time we have a fight and I know one of these they will receive a summon from some poor duped man even if its not me.         

February 12, 2006

Top | Memoirs      

The Week of February 12, 2006  
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How She Snagged Her Tiger by Neha Girotra
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