So, what are the keys to this emotion? What are its indications? What are its implications? The answers to these questions are not universal…they require a personal insight or maybe a little thought.

The key to love is…realization. Realization of this feeling differs from its demonstration. While as demonstration of love can be a total success or a miserable failure, love, in itself, never fails. Meaning thereby, if a person cannot express or exhibit this emotion, this does not deter him from realizing or experiencing it. This does not make him love any less. He experiences love, though no one witnesses that.

The key to love is…a belief in its own eternity. As rightly said that true love doesn’t care for the passing of time, for time cannot change the true meaning of love. Love is surpasses time or distance. Those who love beyond the world cannot be separated by it alone and death cannot kill what never dies. Thus, the tragedy of love is not death or separation but rather indifference. It is here that love dies its death; it is here that lives fall apart.

The key to love is…acceptance. As wrongly believed, love is not blind. It does not ignore a person’s character or faults. It sees through him or her, accepting the fact that no one is perfect. This emotion accepts the imperfection of the other person as well as one’s own –knowing that true love is self-discovery, with and for that person.

The key to love is…understanding. Without this pillar, love has no survival value. Love alone is not enough for the success of a relationship. Rather, love alone fails to save a relationship without the essential element of understanding. It is this understanding that allows people to compromise and forgive willingly.

The key to love is…giving without the thought of return. But giving, with the hope of just a simple smile or appreciation. And this love makes a person to giving-in but never give-up. It is this virtue that makes love unselfish.

The key to love is…compromise. Compromise in a relationship is required on things immaterial and superfluous to love, for this adds longevity and strength to this emotion. However, it demands no compromise in terms of respect, concern, and responsibility. Love should never turn into charity or pity.

The key to love is…trust. Trust that the other person will live with and for you. This absolute trust lets people to set the other person free, with the belief that with separation there will always be a return.

The key to love is…a belief in its own strength. Love has to be so strong that, with and for the other person, you can endure all hardships, sorrow, pain, poverty, and death. Love is the only thing as strong as truth itself. To quote Ayn Rand, ‘There is no affirmation without the one who affirms. In a sense, everything to which you grant your love is yours.’ This depicts the power that love grants on all its believers and worshippers.

The key to love is…forgiveness. This ability makes people to accept each other’s faults and pardon mistakes, without forgetting what you learn from them. Forgiveness is not to be misunderstood for weakness or helplessness, but rather as the virtue which love bestows on people. This quality in a person is not to be taken for granted but rather appreciated and treasured.

The key to love is inside us all. It takes time and patience to explore and unlock all the ingredients- compassion, respect, longing, understanding, patience, regret, belief, trust, compromise, and forgiveness- that will take you to its threshold. It is a continual learning process that demands a lot of work; but the rewards are more than worth the effort. And even if there is no reward, the experience is worth the effort.

So what really is love? At different stages of our lives the signs of love may vary- dependence during childhood; likeness during youth; friendship during teenage; attraction during adolescence; affection during adulthood; worry and loyalty during middle age; contentment and loneliness during old age. Whatever be the signs and its manifestations, at heart, the source is always the same. The emotion is just as strong and pure, its targets differ. All said and done, it still seems that love is beyond our ability to understand. Words are too petty to express what love is or how it works magic…You don’t have to be a genius to know that love is impossible to understand. To quote Kahlil Gibran,

‘And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.’ 

February 24, 2007

Image under license with Gettyimages.com

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