Mr. Stinky

by Richard H. Williams

Horticulturist
Craig Allen grew the giant
plant, Mr. Stinky

He "fed" it seaweed
meal, chicken manure, ground-up
bones, and other "food"

Amorphophallus
titanium is Sir Stinky's
scientific name

Stinky manifests
gross, foul odors when blooming;
the worst lasts eight hours

Allen of Fairchild
Tropical Garden just loves
this plant, this Titan

This malodorous,
giant plant is the superstar
of all botany

Mr. Stinky draws
groupies when in bloom, although
they abhor the stench

How bad is the smell?
like road kill, defecation,
rotting eggs or flesh

Its putrid odor
attracts carrion beetles that
pollinate the plant

Tourists and others
flock to Miami's Fairchild
when Stinky blooms full

2

Dr. Beccari
discovered the Titan in
central Sumatra

In its prime, Mr.
Stinky grows at a rate of
three inches a day

Titan sprouts a five
foot phallus, heats up, stinks like
a corpse, then goes limp

The stinking odor
released when Titan blooms is
grossly offensive

The Titan bloomed for
the third time at Fairchild in
May two-thousand three

Masochistic souls
hang around the plant just so
they can be made ill

Comparing bulks, the
Titan is the largest of
all the world flowers

Mr. Stinky is
an "inflorescence" or a
cluster of flowers

Titan Arum--- the
biggest and the worst smelling
flower on the earth

The disgusting smell
draws crowds, as well as chemists
studying the stench

3

Titan, called "the corpse
flower," can extend nearly
nine feet in height

The Titan Arum---
is known as the bad boy of
all horticulture

The first bloom of Sir
Stinky in Miami was:
nineteen ninety-eight

Even as we speak
Titan grows in the Fairchild
Conservatory

Fairchild's Titan has
bloomed thrice establishing a
brand new world record

For more on Stinky,
see Attenborough's book, The
Private Life of Plants

10-Oct-2004

More By : Richard H. Williams

Views: 1393 Comments: 0