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The End or The Beginning?

Shakespeare so eloquently wrote,
"The sun for sorrow would not show its head"
It rained yesterday a steady downpour of raindrops outside;
inside a steady flow of tears. 
The skies wept with me. 
The thunder echoed 
the violent pain that tears me apart. 
Your vicious goodbye was so abrupt 
and unfounded 
I felt as though a part of me with died with your parting. 

Your love seems to have disappeared
into the mists of the morning fog. 
The tears make trails of dampness
as they slowly travel from my red, swollen eyes
down my face to finally drop silently, but with such finality. 
The fact 
is that I was never good enough
I always felt that I didn't deserve someone like you. 
You treat me as if 
I'm of depraved character.
Yes, I am guilty of several wrongs, 
but not the accusations with which 
you crucified me
of those things, I am innocent. 
I loved you with a pure heart.
I gave my love totally and unconditionally,
never considering the inevitable pain
we both knew I would eventually experience anyway.
I honestly thought that you returned my love, 
you almost had me convinced. 

I have always been true to myself, true to my ideas, 
and I have followed 
my heart. 
Whereas, you on the other hand chose duty over truth 
and blindness 
over enlightenment. 
Though for a short time, I actually fooled myself into 
believing that
maybe just maybe but alas, 
my hopes have been dashed, our relationship 
torn apart. 
My heart and my soul, forever scarred
by pain and your condemnation. 
Just remember, that regardless of how you 
feel for me
How you despise or curse 
I gave you my heart, and my love
First as a friend, then as my love
though now I know these things are meaningless to you, 
and the reality 
of that is difficult to face
I am not sure I can face
for you will forever have possession of my heart and my soul.
And I am now empty.
Without you, I have nothing
...I am nothing

This poem was revised at the advise of a friend to help deal with the pain.
The following is the revision.


Shakespeare so eloquently wrote,
"The sun for sorrow would not show its head"
It rained yesterday.....
a steady downpour of raindrops outside;
inside a steady flow of tears. 
The skies wept with me. 
The thunder echoed 
the violent pain that tore me apart.
Your vicious goodbye was so abrupt and unfounded
I felt as though a part of me died with your parting.
Our relationship and friendship disappeared
....into the mists of the morning fog.
The tears made trails of dampness
as they slowly traveled from my red, swollen eyes....
down my face to finally drop silently, but with such finality.
The fact is that I never deserved such despicable treatment
....but I always knew you believed I was unsuited.
You treated me as if I'm of depraved character
...of that, I am innocent.
I have always been true to myself, true to my ideas,
....and I have followed my heart.
Whereas, you on the other hand chose duty over truth,
deceit over honor and blindness over enlightenment.
Though for a short time, I actually fooled myself into believing that 
maybe....
just maybe....but alas,
my hopes have been dashed, our friendship torn apart.
My heart and my soul, forever scarred....
By your deception and condemnation.
Just remember, that regardless of how you feel for me
How you despise or curse me....
I gave you my heart, and my love....
First as a friend, then as a lover....
....and finally as my best friend
though it seems these things were meaningless to you,
and the reality of that is difficult to face
But face it I will.....
with a clearer understanding of the pain which can be caused
by someone's deception and intolerance.
You see this end in reality isn't an end
But actually a new beginning for me.

 (c) Sherrie Gore
USA
March,  2000

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