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Last Night I Was Enveloped

Last night I was enveloped
in questions
that almost felt pre-natal…
I felt like I had not emerged
from the womb of life…
I felt the amniotic fluid surrounding me
life was non-existent…
I had not known it yet

In bursts
I felt the meaning 
of my existence
stand out in relief 
… as I tried to plunge deeper
the knowledge eluded me…

I knew
I could have gone deeper
into that state
but chose to return to life
and ignorance…

That trance like state
could have pulled me deeper inside it
it seems to offer answers
for it brings forth so many questions…
but no answers it gives…
only the feeling
of being able to reach somewhere…
but not taking us anywhere…

Our best bet
is to be close to reality
close to the truth of our lives…
if any answers we'll ever find
we'll find it in the midst of life.

(c) Ambika Bhatt
Gwalior, MP, India
December 12, 2000

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