Let's Call The Whole Thing Off by Hanif Kanjer

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Calling Cards

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off ...

If she wants to marry a tall, dark and handsome man,
she is being incredibly romantic;
If he wants to marry a sexy, beautiful woman, he is sexist.

If a woman cries, it’s because she has feelings and is hurt;
If a man cries, he is just a sissy.

If she ogles at a handsome guy, she is admiring his physique;
If he admires a beautiful woman, he is a lecher.

If she cuts her hair short, wears trousers and smokes a cigarette, she is liberal;
If he goes in for a facial, reads women’s magazine, he is effeminate.

If he pays for her meals, it’s his privilege;
If he places the order for her, he is chauvinistic.

If he compliments her, it is a form of sexual harassment;
If she leads him on, it’s still his fault.

If she says ‘No’, it’s because she has a headache;
If he says ‘No’, it’s because he is having an affair.

If he doesn’t give her an anniversary gift, he doesn’t care;
If she doesn’t give him a gift, it’s because he already has everything.

If he praises his mom, he’s a mama’s boy;
If she praises her dad, it’s because her dad is the greatest man on earth.

– Hanif Kanjer
November 28, 2004



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