Just too much pain to bear
Stub it, stub it out
Starve it till it bleeds to death
These passions are my demons…

Last night I cried in my lover’s arms
Each cell in my body had waited
For that one phone call
None except my heart knew of -
The call from - Her

But it did not come.

So I cried and cried in my woman’s arms -
Not knowing my angst, she asked
Why are you crying so much?
Has someone said something to you?

I shook my head -

How can I tell her?
How hard it is to bear
This silence?
How can I tell her?
I did not cry because
Someone said something
But, because
Someone I wanted to hear from
Did not say anything?
I cried because she was so silent.

Does it take so long to process pain?
So much denial!
Whom could I hold and cry uncontrollably with?
The safety of unquestioned tears
Are not always present.

My cells have finally dried out.
Just too much pain to bear
I tried to stub it, stub it out completely
I fasted for days on end -
Food, they say, excite the mind
These passions left me only for those days
They are my demons…here to stay.

Silence frightens me more than words
They hide emotions I cannot address
Therefore I weep nestled at my lady’s breasts
She does not question my tears
Just gives me the space to cry – for Her. 

October 29, 2006

Image under license with Gettyimages.com

The Week of October 29, 2006    
Bondage by Ramendra Kumar 
I Weep for Her by Julia Dutta 
Joys Slow, Sorrows Grow by Daniel Menezes 
Let Me Sit By Your Side by Kumud Biswas
Rewinding Silent Tunes by R. Purushothamarao 
She Dwells In Poetic Muse by Julia Dutta 
The Image of Her Face by David Cannon 
The Moth by Aparna Chatterjee

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