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Random Thoughts
Sexual Selection, Self-worth & Deception in Nature
by
Gaurang Bhatt, MD
 Darwin wrote a book on the
descent of man and sexual selection. A prime example he used was that of
the peacock’s magnificent iridescent feathers and their influence on the
mating habits of the drab looking peahen. Both male and female peacocks
have limited flying ability because of their body weight and
non-aerodynamic physiognomy, yet the male of the species has evolved
ornate feathers of pleasing design, which increase his handicap of
flying out of reach of a land based predator. Darwin’s correct analysis
points the guilty finger to sexual selection. Once a female preference
for ornate feathers begins to become established, it leads to selective
mating preference for a male with more ornate feathers.
Chance variants with ornate feathers leave more progeny and males with
unimpressive feathers are unable to mate and leave progeny. Chance
mutations of genetic switches intermittently and inexorably produce
offspring with even more ornate feathers, who have even greater
reproductive success and further ratchet up the female preference. This
vicious or virtuous cycle ramps upwards with a greater acceleration,
with the only countervailing force of reduced survival from predators,
by being unable to escape by flying. When Achilles was a given the
choice of a short but glorious life over a long tedious one, he chose
the first and so does the male peacock.
There are other examples, the antlers of the Irish elk which became so
large that they may have been a factor in their extinction. Length of
certain blackbird tails and more visible coloration of some fish confirm
the thesis. In all the above mentioned animals and in all others except
human beings, the sex drive and urge to mate, naturally leads to progeny
in the absence of contraceptives. Mating is often seasonal and
concentrated during the fertile period of oestrus. This is why lions and
many other animals kill the cubs on capturing the pride harem, to
terminate lactation in the females and bring them into fertile oestrus.
Evolution by the strategically timed release of oxytocin after kissing,
hugging and sex, which leads to a feeling of contentment, benevolence
and attachment, ensures a partiality towards a female that any male has
mated with (being culturally lost in humanity why some Afghans define
democracy as freedom to fornicate without guilt, attachment or
responsibility, a pandemic more dangerous than swine flu).
In chimpanzees and even more so in bonobos, females mate promiscuously
and indiscriminately to counter male aggression and ensure benevolence
towards newborns whose paternity is uncertain. Male aggression is the
root cause of violence in most societies including human. The male
either pre-nuptially or post-nuptially offers the female choice foods to
sustain her and thus the future brood (In perverted India, culture has
reversed nature and it is the parents of the female who offer a large
dowry). It can range from choice meat, insect , worm or a ball of
elephant feces in dung beetles. In extreme cases like spiders the male
himself becomes a meal, but he often ensures that his sacrifice is worth
it by leaving his broken off penis in the female introitus, the first
invention of a chastity belt.
In animals without a large frontal neo-cortex the competition for
females involves flaunting natural genetic endowments. Variations abound
from the loudness of the male croak in frogs, the brightness of flashing
(light not opening the trench coat) to the sweetness of bird songs. The
male weaver bird goes a step further and often collects shiny baubles
including fragments of colored broken glass or shiny colored pebbles to
decorate his nest to entice a female. This maybe the first precursor of
jewelry. In hunter gatherer societies, altruistic gifts of spare meat to
unrelated females are a Trojan horse for future seduction. In more
advanced human societies, power (political, physical or monetary) serves
as a signaling pheromone for susceptible females. This is the charm of
kings, powerful politicians, nobles, athletes and the rich. Men brag of
their castles, convertibles and other skills when looks, charm, wit or
intelligence alone or in combination, will not do the trick ( pun
intended).
 In human beings, certain dresses, perfumes, aftershaves, clothing, cars
are acquired in the false hope of increasing one’s chances of sexual
conquest or marriage. Those idiots don’t realize that the male hunk, the
female blond or public respect doesn’t come by buying the advertised
product. Just because you use a product endorsed by some celebrity whom
you admire, desire or aspire to become, it will not fulfill your wish,
increase your self-worth or transform you from a frog to a prince or
princess. You will not only remain the idiot you are but will have been
made a greater fool and idiot by being duped. And there are no idiots
like Indians.
Some people may have taken umbrage at my last article about the Medal of
Freedom for poking fun at the idiocy of America and Israel. There was no
chauvinism or jingoism there. I think Indians are even worse, not
because India has more vowels in common with idiot. Let me take the
example of India’s official foolish reaction against the unfortunate 60+
minute interrogation of Shah Rukh Khan at the Liberty International
Airport in Newark. The same Indian idiots and officials did not raise a
pipsqueak when Kalam, the former president of India and George Fernandes
the then Defense Minister of India were subjected to a search and delay.
Shah Rukh Khan is a rich and prominent actor with histrionic talent but
does not represent the whole nation like the other two.
If the justifiable rationale was that the first two were Muslims, it
doesn’t hold for Fernandes, who though an incompetent rabble rouser, was
a Christian and a national office bearer on a diplomatic passport at the
time he was traveling. If the objection of idiot Indians was that
Muslims were being singled out unfairly, it doesn’t hold enough power as
an argument as complicity by Indian Muslims in the attacks by Pakistani
terrorists on the Mumbai Stock Exchange, Mumbai trains, Indian
Parliament and Glasgow airport clearly show. It is unfortunate that
Muslims or brown people get such treatment from American authorities,
but American security is at a level of paranoid fear and has become once
bitten twice shy.
Brazil was deeply offended by the new immigration policies of America
and how they offended Brazilians. They reciprocated the policies to
Americans visiting Brazil. Our supine Indian governments, be they BJP or
the even more craven UPA have neither the decency, self-respect or
integrity to stand up for themselves. Our Prime Minister lies down on
the red carpet and lets even the minor-most of Western and Chinese
officials walk all over him and grovels with gratitude at every kick he
receives.
Some Muslims refuse to sing “Vande Mataram” for dubious religious
reasons. SRK is a practicing Muslim and against idolatry. There is
nothing wrong with that situation. There are idiot Hindu fans of SRK who
have erected a temple to him with presumably his idol. They were amongst
the prominent idiots who protested his interrogation. I would be the
first to object if SRK was harmed or tortured or even imprisoned because
of his name or religion. If immigration merely questioned him politely
and legally, that is within their right and the law. What idiot Indians
of all colors and religions should do is to raise a hue and cry about
the illegal and immoral incarceration and torture of any individual
without just cause or legal evidence, which is prevalent and much more
heinous.
If you are looking to enhance your self-worth merely by merging you ego
with a celebrity, or celebrity endorsed products without using your
brains or skills, you are like Gore and Kerry’s presidential campaign.
All the millions spent will only bring you failure. The classic examples
in nature, who are partially or completely fooled are bees. In most
cases they go to flowers to collect nectar. The flowers entice them with
nectar only to shower them with pollen, they carry to other plants of
the same species to facilitate fertilization for the plant. In this case
bees do get some benefit (nectar), but the master fraudsters like the
bankers and Wall Street are the orchids.
 Orchid flowers mimic the appearance of the female bee viewed from the
behind. The male bee tries to mate, is temporarily entrapped, loaded
with pollen and escapes without satisfaction or nectar reward. It is how
human males are excited and fooled by mistaking a two-dimensional
picture of a naked female on the TV screen while watching an X-rated
movie. The horny dissatisfied male bee flies away and is fooled again by
another similar plant and achieves fertilization for the orchid and
frustration for itself. The word orchid is derived from “orchis” meaning
testes. From testes is derived testimony and testify. In the past in
many cultures and in the present in some, your testimony is only half as
valid if you don’t have testes.
Human beings like bees, are fooled by appearances in another way, and
that is by advertisers whose only motive is to sell them something
whether they need it or not. In fact the advertisers often generate the
need by offering status falsely. In India, one can buy a pair of
ordinary jeans for 200 rupees. Levi’s whose designer jeans sell for
anywhere from 1,600 to 10,000 rupees, now has an interest free three
month installment plan. If you have the money, who am I to stop you from
spending it or wasting it? What gets my goat is a sentence from the
front page of Saturday, August 22nd Financial Times by Suhel Seth,
managing partner of Counselage, a brand advisory agency. “A pair of
Levi’s can immediately catapult you on a social level”.
I feel sorry for those who are gullible enough to believe that about
Levi’s, Prada, Gucci, Hermes or a host of other brands. Descartes said,
“Cogito ergo sum” -I think therefore I am. He was wrong. Most of
us don’t think most of the time and usually don’t know who we are.
August 23,
2009
Images under license with
Gettyimages.com
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