Indian society believes
that marriages are made in heaven. The society is contemporarily facing
such a crisis of marital discords that one is tempted to change the
belief about marriages to 'marriages made be made in the heaven but they
are broken on this earth only'. Yes the very concepts of happy marriage
seem to be facing rough weather in our developing nation. Otherwise
divorces were unheard of, now they are becoming a common feature.
The worst victims of the marital discords are the innocent children,
whose parents decided to separate like the way they had decided to
unite. The problem seems to be on the increase.
A group of people from different walks of life in India, facing the
problem of infringement of a child's right due to high handedness of
either parent launched a Non Government Organization (NGO) Children's
Rights Initiative For Shared Parenting (CRISP) on 14th June 2008 at
Bangalore. While addressing the Press on 13th November 2008 during the
launch of the Lucknow chapter of CRISP, Kumar V. Jahgirdar a Stock
Broker by profession and President of the CRISP highlighted the aims and
objectives of the NGO. He said, our objective is to ensure that child of
such estranged parents gets to spend quality time with both the parents,
for which they have come out with the term 'Shared Parenting'. He
emphasized that since the child is the product of both the parents, it
is their responsibility to ensure that the child gets the attention of
both, despite their differences. He emphasized the need for the child to
remain 'connected' with both the parents was significant because a child
reared by single parent often becomes a problem child. Quoting the
studies carried out in the USA he said the number of children from
fatherless homes has risen from six million in 1960 to 24 million at
present. The study says he said 'children without fathers in their lives
are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine
times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end
up in prison.' One father is better than 100 teachers he said.
Jahgirdar himself is a sufferer on this account, after his wife divorced
him and took away their child. Somehow good sense prevailed and the
couple mutually decided to try the concept of 'shared parenting'. Thus
the child in a week spends two days with dad and five with mom. This way
the innocent child doesn't feel the absence of either parent he
informed.
Since the traditional values and training that marriage ties are sacred
and have to be maintained are gradually changing or rather say dying,
the problem of divorces is on the rise. CRISP endeavors to enlighten the
divorced/separated couples by informing the society about the impact of
divorce on the psyche of the child. Talking cue from the US society
where the number of single parents increased almost in a logarithmic
scale in 30 years and also noticing that billions of dollars are spent
today there to tackle the behavioral problems of the single parent child
a group of these dedicated youngsters has come forward and launched
CRISP.
CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial
system, legislative system and public awareness, which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce and breakup of a family
keeping in mind the best interests of the child.
In order to reach their goals, CRISP endeavors to highlight that joint
custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated.
For proper mental development of the child both parents are required.
Thus the divorcing parents must give a thought to the emotional and
psychological needs of the child and the parents should devise ways and
means to ensure fulfillment of such needs.
It was noticeable that CRISP included a majority of 'fathers' who became
victims of the law of the land, where mother is considered to be the
natural guardian of a child and hence given the custody of the child.
Such fathers, deprived of their off springs have raised the concern
about future of the fatherless children. However, they claim that
amongst their member mothers who have been denied the right to meet
their children are also there.
CRISP is already on the web at
www.crisp-india.org
and people facing the problem of divorce and its consequences can seek
help and also air their views said Jahgirdar.
It laudable that the
members of the society are coming forward with NGOs to act as counselors
and to solve the problem of single parent children, but the fact remains
that if there is a counseling system to make the fighting couple realize
that their ego clash will ruin the future of their child, may in the
long run help the society more.
November 16, 2008
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