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Stories
When it came to, it was morning and Ved was fussing solicitously around me, promising to make up for lost time and Lord knows what. I really thought that I had had a naughty dream. Nevertheless, a sense of terror kept me in the zenana all day. To my eternal shame, that night too I fell asleep, only to be awakened by a thud as Ravi threw Ved on the bed, once again out like a light, to head for my side of the bed, grinning widely. " Ready ? " he asked, raising a sardonic eyebrow. I was paralyzed; a part of my brain observed the fluidity with which he repeated the motions of yesterday. That was no dream : the fumbling with his clothes, the hand on my mouth, the sari over my head and then the energetic rocking and pumping and the almost casual " Kal milenge ". I lay awake in shock all night. The third night I waited up. " Did I keep you waiting ?" he asked, Ved slung over his shoulder. " Ravi....." that was as far as I got. " Don't say a single word, just open your legs. It's too late to say anything now; nobody will take your word against mine. Besides, " he pointed a derisive nod at the inert Ved, " what can he do ? Maybe I'll make you a son. Raj karegi tu and live to thank me for it ". I felt soiled and sore. my brain was numb. what to do ? who to go to in this strangely Angrez household ? My languor and red-rimmed eyes made me the butt of sly jokes; no-one guessed. One night, I kept a vigil, deep in the shadows of the gallery overlooking the hall where the men sat drinking. Ravi was plying everyone with drinks, large ones, mixed ones. I started as a firm hand descended on my shoulder " Bahu ? " my eagle-eyed mother-in-law. I turned in terror and then ducked instinctively, hoping Ravi had not looked up. Mataji followed swiftly. I was mute, but she joined in my vigil. Both of us saw Ravi carefully filling glasses and finally furtively tipping a potion from a ring into Ravi's glass. We looked at each other. Wordlessly, she pulled me into my room. the dam burst and a wordless flood of tears ensued. when it subsided , she gave me a quick hug and passed a glass of water. " Sab theek ho jayega " Pressing me into the pillows, she adjusted the night lamp and sat herself down in a vast chair in the shadows. We waited. Ravi carried Ved up and threw him into the bed. The old lady spoke " Thank you, Ravi, you can go now; I'll help Prema ". If I had not been taut as a string, I would have laughed aloud at the consternation on Ravi's face as he swung around. " Good night Ravi, " she said firmly, as she stood up. He had no option but to leave quietly. As his footsteps were heard receding, Mataji turned to me " Lock the door. Nevertheless, I'll be outside ." I sprang to touch her feet in thanksgiving and humility. Rather belatedly relief flooded through me and as I pulled the latch, my knees caved in. I lay against the door for a long time. The next day was a prolonged cat and mouse game with three players, Mataji, Ravi and me. Hats off to the old lady. In very short order, she unearthed a family hunting lodge in the foothills, had it put into order and packed Ved and me off for that new-fangled English fashionable " honeymoon" ! Before we left, she took me to her suite and pressed a paper into my hand. " This is our phone number. there is a phone there too. If Ravi shows up, give me a call at once." As we drove in the open top family limousine out of the huge gates, onto the open country road, the mists began to clear from a benumbed mind. Slowly Ravi receded from my vision and I was able to smile back at Ved. Our idyllic honeymoon lasted all of two days. On the third morning, Ravi showed up, riding his horse right upto our breakfast table set up on the lawn. My stomach pitched. " Good morning " he smiled. Ravi was his whirlwind self, cracking smutty jokes and jollying up Ved. He took Ved off for a stroll to discuss a hunt. Taut-faced and shaky-handed, I dialed Mataji's number. It took an agony of suspense to get through to her over the crackling lines. Hearing the returning voices, I had almost replaced the received when the smart voice crackled through, just in the nick of time " Kaise ho tum log ? " I could hear them coming up the verandah. Quickly I breathed a single word into the mouthpiece " Ravi " and replaced the handset, turning guiltily as Ravi and Ved walked in. " You look ill, Prema. Isn't Ved looking after you, " Ravi advanced solicitously.
" I'm okay. Have to see to the lunch, " I ducked out of the room into a
day-long nightmare. my breath remained caught in my throat and I felt
like a rat in a trap, watched by a beagle-eyed Ravi, who spoke to me all
the time, through Ved. Mataji gave me a gentle embrace and wiped away the tears seeping out from under the eyelids. " Aansoo dikhate nahi hain, " she whispered. Since Ravi and the old man got along like a house on fire, Ravi was all over us, visiting every few weeks wherever we might be, at the lodge, the haveli, Calcutta or Delhi. Out of deference to his relationship with her husband, Mataji did not give him any chance to suspect that she was upto his game, jollying him, laughing at his jokes, but sitting in on all the sessions and breaking them up early. " Ravi, you are on leave, but your Bhaisaheb and Ved have to work; off to bed, one and all , " she would say in dismissal. Never knowing when he would turn up, kept me in a permanent paroxysm of anxiety. The ball of tension at the back of my head and in the pit of my stomach turned to terror, when the calendar sent me rushing to my mother-in-law. " Mataji....." I was unable to articulate, only to pummel my stomach. She grasped my hands firmly. " Hame us hi ka intezar tha " I turned stricken eyes to her, mutely asking that she understand my plight and that I would not have to speak out my shame. She looked long and deep into my terrorized eyes and somehow understood. " Ravi ? " I nodded. " Kittni bar ? " Still dumb, I held up five fingers. Both of us closed our eyes, one in guilt and the other perhaps sorrow ? it could have been her first grandchild ! The next morning, Mataji announced that she needed some solicitude and that she was going up to the lodge. I was to accompany her. Late in the evening, we walked into the nearby village where Mataji sought out the dai. Two days later, we slipped into the dai's house late in the evening. no-one saw us. I was shivering in fright in anticipation of what ? The actual pain made me scream; they stuffed a handkerchief in my mouth. We stayed at the lodge for over a fortnight. Everyday the dai came to give me a vigorous massage and a piping hot bath. Gradually the numb brain relaxed, the skin and limbs began to glow with the dai's ministrations, the fresh air and the peace. |
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