Stories      
Anita Weds Dipti
by Julia Dutta

Mrs R sat at the coffee table staring out at the kitchen garden. In all her 45 years, this was one she could easily put down as her worst moment. Opposite her sat her twenty three-year-old daughter, stirring her coffee. The spoon made a sound so annoying, Mrs R could have burst a nerve. The fan rotating overhead was unable to cool the hot flushing feeling Mrs R experienced at this moment.

“ Stop stirring your coffee, will you Dipti? The sound of that spoon is driving me nuts”. Mrs R said irritably.

“ Okay” Dipti responds in a soft voice.

Mrs R continues “ Well let’s break the silence. Tell me what is on your mind”.

Dipti shuffles a bit and pushed her hair back. Looking at her mother directly
in the face she said –

“ Ma…….. I …… don’t want to marry. I mean, I don’t …. want to marry that boy. I ….
don't love him. I …. love somebody else…..

Mrs R knew it all along. Why did Dipti not tell her before? She even knew who it
was.

“ Who is it?” she asked knowing the answer already.

“ ….. you know her. It’s Anita!

Mrs R had known it. Her daughter’s constant association with this “friend” from
College was more than telling. Nevertheless she clarified.

“You mean your friend Anita”?

“ Yes!” Dipti said without batting an eyelid.

Mrs R began to feel very tired. She stares blankly at the garden. No wonder last Saturday a scene happened in their house. She had invited the boys’ family over so that the two could spend time together. However, Dipti had gone off to Anita’s house the night before to spend the night promising she would return early next morning. Instead she had called to say she was not coming –

“ Dipti beta, don’t say you are not going to come home. It has all been arranged. The boy’s family will be here any moment. You had better return”.

But Dipti returned only in the late evening and then went and locked herself in her room. She would not allow Mrs R to enter. She would not open the door.

Meanwhile at Anita’s house Anita is helping her mother clean up the kitchen after breakfast. Mrs D, Anita’s mother is in a hurry to leave for work. However, Anita must make her confession –

“ Mom…..” Anita says “ Are you in a desperate hurry to leave?”

“ Yes darling” Mrs D responds “ Why?”

“ I have something to tell you Mom….”

“ Can it wait until the night?”

“ I am afraid not.”

Mrs D stops short. When Anita says this she knows it must be really urgent.

They leave the kitchen and head towards the bedroom. There are two large chairs in the bedroom besides the bed and a bookshelf containing a number of books.

“Tell me quick”. Mrs D is busy at the wardrobe.

“ It’s about Dipti. Mom, I am sorry I didn’t tell you about Dipti before… I was
stared and …… not sure how to tell you.”

Mrs. D is silent; she is aware that there is something serious coming on and she
needs to give this time to her daughter. She calls her office-

“ I am going to be late.” Then she turns to Anita “ All your’s Sweety.”

“ Dipti and I have been seeing each other since college – We are in love”.

Mrs D hid a slight surprised. Overtime, she had wondered at the bonding in their relationship but she had taught Anita never to question a human relationship. She practiced what she preached.

“ But when did that entire personal thing happen?” she said without much ado.

“ Last year when I was going out to the hospital almost everyday. Dipti had an attack of jaundice and was in the hospital for almost two months. I think it is during this period, that we grew really attached to each other.”

She cleared her throat -

“Two months ago, her parents started looking for a boy to marry her of. Dipti’s father owns a Travel Agency and is doing very well. We were both very disturbed about this groom-hunt. We were very afraid to lose each other… “

Anita stopped and looked down at her palms “ What happened between was not really planned. It just happened. Mom, it’s very strong. In fact, the physical aspect has brought us closer…feels like a real strong foundation of our love”

Anita looked at her mother “Mom, are you angry?”

Mrs. D. shook her head. Anita rushed to her. She hugged her.

Mrs D was forced to think of the consequences.

“ Have you thought of what this might mean for both of you? How are you going to
go about in society?”

Anita was enthusiastic “ Mom, we want to live together”.

It was time for Mrs D to play the Devil’s advocate –

“ Society will not accept you darling. It will be hard for you both socially and
at work. Most employers will not want to employ you if they knew you are lesbian.
Most women will not want to hang out with you fearing that you might make a pass
at them. What’s worst, most men will be doubtful and assume that you are lesbian
because you could not find a man”.

Mrs D sighed – “ Can you handle all that?”

Anita always thought that she could handle everything if her Mum was on her
Side –

“ Mom, I can handle anything. We can fight everything. All I need is your support…

It was time for Mrs. D. to leave. She kissed Anita on her head

“You are my baby. I will always be with you… “



Part II

There is chaos in Dipti’s house. Her mother is very disappointed. Dipti is slumped on her bed crying uncontrollably. Mrs R is trying her last shot. It has to work. She puts her hand over her daughter’s head –

“ Beta, stop crying. I am your mother. All I want is the best for you.”

She lifts Dipti up and makes her sit up on the bed. She wipes her tears lovingly and gives her a glass of water. Then she begins to speak softly.

“My baby, just think about what you just told me… What can exist between two women?

Dipti can’t take it. She begins to revolt. But her mother is quick. She holds up a hand –

“ Just hear me out please. Lesbian is a dirty word and it is against nature. It cannot
be a fulfilling experience. The only right experience fulfilling mutual love and sexual
ecstacy is one that exists between man and woman”.

Dipti begins to feel like she wants to puke. How can she have a mother who is so out
of date? She struggles to get out of the bed but is held back by Mrs R.

Mrs R continues, “Only love between man and woman begets children. It is the way
it was designed by nature. To go against nature is…..”

Dipti cuts her off. She is really annoyed –

“ Ma, stop it please. Whatever you are saying does not interest me.”

“ Beta, these are the ways of the world. How can you be different? What will your
father say?” Mrs R is not going to be defeated.

Dipti becomes defiant –

“ I can listen to you if it makes sense to me. What you are saying does not. Besides,
it is immaterial. I love Anita.”

Mrs R is an old timer. She was never able to keep pace with the times and she did
not. Old was gold for her. Presently, she shuts Dipti’s mouth with her hand.

“Shhh! What will everyone think? If nothing else, you have to have to think about the name of the family….”

Dipti stands up. Her mother has always been impossible. Enough! She thinks.

“ This talk is going nowhere. I am determined” she announces.

Mrs R is not going to have Dipti talk to her like this –

“ Then listen to me as well. I am not going to allow you to destroy your life, right
under my nose. You will never ever meet Anita again.”

Dipti heads towards the door as Mrs R resorts to the last weapon she has.

“I am warning you! If you are not going to listen to me and you insist on seeing Anita, you will have to leave the house”.

Dipti is stunned! What a slap in the face. From her mother? Her own mother? Her heart breaks as she goes out of the doorway and slums the door behind her.

She rushes to Anita, disturbed as she is. No sooner than Anita opens the door, Dipti rushes toward a chair and flopping into it begin to cry.

“Ma said that if I don’t comply to her wishes, she is going to turn me out of the house….”

Anita is stunned. She comes across the room and gathers Dipti in her arms but Dipti is distraught and begin to hit Anita softy on her color bone -

“It’s all because of you! Why did you have to come into my life?”

Anita holds on to Dipti reassuringly. Wiping her tears both with her hands and her kisses.

“ Don’t cry baby, it is going to be okay….”

“ No! It is not. It is going to get worst. Now that Ma will involve Dad as well….what if we have to come apart?”

Then quite suddenly she hugs Anita firmly. Even through her tears and her fear of losing the security of her home, she knows she can never bear to lose Anita. She touches Anita’s color bone gently and caresses it.

“ Pain?” she whispers gently.

Anita shakes her head. Dipti lowers her head and kisses the part where she had been hitting out. Slowly the all too familiar gradual, steady beginnings of an expression of love bloom out. The livid eyes, the flush on the cheeks, the blood rushing to the lips, the arms gripping around each other…their lips melt into each other….It is the same thing every time and yet new every time. Their lips and fingers begin to explore each others’ body, not different, both women, yet every time a new discovery….every time new sensations…..Is it the love they have for each other or is it the extreme love of self? Is it a drive for self-fulfillment or is it a drive for giving of oneself? What brings and holds them in these moments…..melting and merging into each other…. breath upon breath, hands holding softly and lips parting for that taste of flesh and to utter those words….many times said, over and over and yet again, the same words, escaping from their throat in acknowledgement of a reality…..three words, like the haunting sound of a chant….mesmerizing, captivating…..three words, I love you.

The day has lifted, the tears are no more. The naked truth stands before their eyes, their bodies resting against each other, the passion subdued, now they even seem like sisters.

Just then the phone rings. It’s Anita’s mother. Words pass between Anita and her mother. Finally, Anita puts the receiver down and hugs Dipti

“Mom said, until things sort themselves out at your home, you can stay with us as long as you want…”

Part III

When Dipti did not return that night, Mrs R was worried. She called Anita’s house and was informed that Dipti was fine and the two girls had gone out to the movies. Mrs R left a message for Dipti to call back. Dipti did not. Mrs R when questioned told her husband that Dipti had left for a nearby destination for the weekend. But when she did not return for four days, nor called, Mrs R panicked. She spoke to Anita’s mother and complained –

“ You need to keep a check on your daughter, I am afraid to say, Mrs D. She has created a mess in my household….”

Mrs D was not one to keep such conversations alive.

“ You need to have kept an eye on your daughter Mrs R. your daughter or mine are both adults. I cannot impinge on their right to decide for themselves what they think best.” And with that she had thanked Mrs R for calling and put the receiver down. She mentioned to Dipti –

“ Your mother is concerned about you Dipti. Quite naturally. I think it is a good idea if you can sit with her again and try to sort things out.”

An appointment was made for the two to meet at a Cafeteria.

When Dipti arrived there, Mrs R was sitting already seemingly very angry and out of control. It is Dipti who was the first to talk –

“ Ma, I told you I am not going to get married to that boy, so why are you insisting
on this engagement?”

Mrs R tried to keep calm although she could feel her blood pressure soaring.

“ Dipti, I am your mother… I know you very well, you need a stable relationship and
all will be fine.”

Dipti was very angry with her mother, yet guilty about it.

“Ma, I feel safe with Anita. I am stable with her”.

“ It’s all nonsense! It will soon be all over”. Mrs R was sure.

Dipti looked at the sky for help.

“ No! It won’t. I love Anita. We are going to be married….”

Mrs R blushed visibly –

“ Hush! Don’t speak so loud. That girl has lead you astray.”

Dipti fought the tears from welling up. Her mother will not hear!

“I don’t want this Ma, I don’t want this… it is going to spoil my life. Please don’t force me…Please understand”.

But Mrs R was adamant.

“ Your father is worried. You are aware that he has been having problems with his heart. Do you mean to cause further pain to him?”

Dipti began to cry.

“ Ma”, she said sobbing, “ Please stop this emotional blackmail”.

Then she and her mother walked out in different direction.

Mrs R did not sleep the whole night. In the morning, she opened the case to her husband. The house rocked with temper, accusations and outburst. Mrs R needed solitude. She did not know what to make of everything. She missed her daughter. She thought it best to go and look up the email on of her computer. Inside, Dipti’s room, she was overwhelmed with guilt; she felt she had failed miserably as a mother, a woman, even as a person. It was all her fault.

She opened the Inbox and an email from her daughter stated her in the face. She clicked on it gingerly.

“ Ma, I know you will feel a great sense of dejection and you will feel you have failed miserably. It is not your fault Ma.

I did not want this engagement. I told you so many times. However, you insisted. That lead to the break down of our relationship. I hope it is only for while and you will understand my position in time.

I am an adult and I would like to determine my own future - whom I want, when I want and how I want. As a woman I have a right to my own sexual choice. I would like to be able to choose my partner to fulfill my own emotional experiences. Anita is my choice of such a human being. Just because I am born in the physical body of a woman, I need not and do not find it necessary to find gratification only with a man.

I am different and I cannot fit into “boxes” that society has made for it’s own convenience. No, I choose to express my own needs and paint my own picture of life with someone I love. Loving Anita gives me security, safety and sincerity.

Anita’s mother has given us unconditional support and has said that I can stay here as long as I want. Or as long as it takes for you and Daddy to accept Anita and me.

Ma, I love you, I do not wish to hurt or offend you. However, I cannot sacrifice my self for your love either. I miss you very much and hope that you will reconcile with the reality as soon as possible, so that we can be happy together again.

Last evening I have sent a book to you. Reading it will help you understand that love between two women has existed for a long time…

Last but not the least - Anita and I invite you and Daddy to a small private ceremony – we are making a commitment to each other on 26th January. Please come and support our decision. I love you Ma and I miss cuddling up to you for those few moments before I go to bed”.

Just then there is a ring of the door. Dipti’s mother rushed to open the door. A courier is delivered. She returned to the computer and opens the packet to find the book Dipti has sent for her. She runs her hand over the cover of the book. Tears roll down her cheeks and she holds her head in her hands and howls all by herself. Lonely tears - tears of pain mix with tears of desperation, hopelessness. Yet when they were over, they cleared her inner sky and gave her a fresh lease of strength. Gradually, she opened the book to read the contents…her heart opened out in spite of herself. She realized she would have to tell her husband to put the engagement off between Dipti and that boy.

She returned to the computer to send a quick reply.

“ I and your Daddy will be there on the 26th. God Bless!” 

March 11, 2007

Image under license with Gettyimages.com

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