The World of Teens  
How to Choose Friends 
   
Friend - this word and its meaning is the one that can be related to all generations, age groups, and all types of people. Whether you're young or old, you need friends to survive. 

During teenage years, as we begin to move around in a social circle of our own, that is separate from that of our family, and come across different people, we get to know them, spend more time with them and one day they are more than just mere acquaintances - we call them friends. Now there is a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. An acquaintance when invited for a party at your place will come at the time most guests would arrive but a friend would be at your place way before the party hour to help you with the preparations. An acquaintance wouldn't help you with the dishes but a friend would.

What does friendship mean to you? To me, friendship is a feeling of comfort; a feeling of cool breeze on my face, friendship to me is trust, understanding and a feeling of coming home. Just the way you can't call every building in town your "home". It's the same with friendship. Every person you meet isn't a friend, many may just be proverbial "ships that pass in the night". Then how does one differentiate and decide on whom to further friendship with? How does a teenager choose his or her friends wisely? Though there is no "Top Ten Manual for choosing friends" guide available, a few insights into some qualities could certainly help.

Friends mirror each other. Choose friends who have thoughts similar to yours, who reflect your family values, who think the way you do. The company we keep both reflects – and helps determine – the kind of people we become. So if you want to be more ambitious, choose a friend who is ambitious, if you want to be less short-tempered, choose a friend who has a cool head.

Friends should be those that have enough social acceptances, who do not have destructive habits. Though you might think, "oh I won't get into that. It won't happen to me", friends do have an influence on your current habits and new habits that you may develop. Try holding a piece of black coal in your hand, press it tightly, what happens? It leaves a stain on your hand. It's the same with friends.

Though its important to have friends who are similar to you, its equally important to have friends with diverse qualities that will lead you to positive growth, who will help you discover new ways of doing things and lead you to overcome challenges in a constructive manner.

Last but certainly not the least; choose friends you can count on. As goes the saying "It is the friends you can call at 4 AM that matter. Marlene Dietrich"   

–  Bijal Dwivedi
March 29, 2001

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