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The
Barber's Wife
Sex Advisor to Child Brides
An assorted cluster of
thatch-roofed mud huts with hardly any sanitation, drainage or lighting
arrangements, and narrow footpaths leading to the outside world - this is
what a typical village in eastern Uttar Pradesh is like. Khawaspur is one
such village where the traditional concept of a village as a
self-sufficient unit continues. It has the requisite complement of
occupational caste workers available to meet the needs of the villagers
from birth to death.
Banki is the local Naun from the barber (Nai) community. She comes from a
long line of Nauns and has been a practicing Naun for "more years than she
has fingers and toes". Unlettered but skilled, she is a vital part of the
social fabric of rural life. During weddings, it is Banki who winds the
bride's hair into tiny braids, traces intricate designs with henna on her
palms and knows exactly what the priest will require during the marriage
ceremony.
No Hindu wedding in the Terai border belt (the districts of Pilibhit,
Bahraich, Shrawasti, Balrampur, Gonda, Dewaria and Basti) is complete
without a Naun, even though most are Muslim.
Despite the abolition of the zamindari (feudal landlords) system, this
region seems to have stood still in time, at least for some castes. The
Nai is a journeyman who goes from door to door and village to village, and
can minister to the wants of more than one village.
Many other castes have gradually moved away from their traditional
occupations. Few Bhangis (scavengers) now continue to clean lavatories
because people defecate in fields. A single Baniya (moneylender) can
finance operations within a radius of 20 kilometers or more, due to
increased mobility.
Brahmins used to officiate at marriages and other ceremonies at the homes
of their patrons and received the traditional compensation in cash and
kind. Many village Brahmins have given up these functions. They regard as
demeaning the practice of accepting food and charity or settling
marriages,
cooking food at weddings and officiating as priests. Some have taken to
cultivation and other occupations such as tailoring and shop keeping.
But the Naun, wife of the Nai, has assumed increased importance. One of
the main reasons for this is the continued practice of child marriage.
According to local lore, this custom began when a ruler from across the
border in Nepal permitted his soldiers to abduct young unmarried girls as
brides. To protect their daughters, people in the Terai region started
marrying them off early.
Another explanation for the continued practice of child marriage - not
permitted by law - is that older men often exploit young girls for sexual
favors; and the married status is seen as a deterrent.
Child-brides can be as young as a few months old to eight years. Few are
older, and they live in their maternal homes till such time as they attain
puberty after which they are dispatched to their marital homes after the 'gauna'
ceremony.
This is where the Naun plays a pivotal role. She accompanies the bride to
her new home and functions as a companion, adviser and confidante. But
most importantly, she provides sex education. Depending on the bride's
physical maturity and age, the Naun either protects her from sexual
initiation or encourages her to submit to the husband. Each Naun services
three to four
families and in return, receives a fixed proportion of the annual harvest.
This interdependence is historic and continues through generations.
According to Banki, fertility control has a long tradition here but is
practiced only after the birth of the first child, preferably a son. It is
practiced for traditional social reasons. For example, many sons are not
wanted as this would lead to a fragmenting of family resources such as
land and cattle. Fertility control is also seen as desirable to help women
recuperate between pregnancies. Daughters are not considered a bane or
boon, but a means of achieving divine blessings through 'Kanyadaan'
(giving
the daughter away in marriage).
Some of the indigenous traditional methods to limit family size are long
periods of breast feeding, withdrawal, segregation of the living areas of
men and women; even special douches and poultices for the 'morning after',
made out of the locally abundant katha (an essential ingredient in betel
leaf preparation).
In the Terai belt, these means and motivations for contraception are still
current probably because no family planning campaign has penetrated this
region but more likely due to their cultural familiarity and
acceptability.
Banki has never seen a condom and isn't quite sure of its efficacy. She is
doubtful of the possibility of local men adopting this method: "Fertility
control and contraception is seen as a woman's concern here. Men will
never consider its use." For now - and in the foreseeable future - it is
the Naun who holds the key to family planning and family welfare.
– Pamela Bhagat
September 3, 2002
By arrangement with
Womens Feature Service
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