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Society
A Violence that Leaves No Physical Traces
by Amrita Nandy-Joshi
In a landmark
ruling earlier this year (April 6, 2008), the Supreme Court (SC)
sentenced a man to two years' imprisonment for driving his wife to
suicide following taunts over her 'dark' complexion. Referring to the
man's acts as severe mental torture, the court said that disparaging and
sneering remarks could be worse than physical torture for a sensitive
person. Not only will this stance taken by the SC send a tough message
to the perpetrators of emotional violence, it will also draw attention
to its pervasive nature.
Domestic violence is a widely known but loosely used term; as is
apparent, it may not be fully understood by both the abuser and the
abused. It connotes many, different and inter-related kinds of violent
actions. Yet, only the most visible one - physical violence - has come
to be, literally, the face of domestic violence. The apparent
conspicuousness of physical violence often overshadows emotional abuse
and violence. As a result, most of what is spoken or written about
domestic violence constitutes physical battering, not emotional. Of
course, all abuse - physical, sexual or financial - contains elements of
emotional abuse. Yet, there are many people - mostly women - who
primarily suffer from emotional abuse and violence. According to the
World Health Organization, between 20 per cent and 75 per cent women
across the world, had experienced one or more of these acts, most within
the past 12 months. It may appear strange then that their plight lacks
voice, especially when qualitative research consistently finds that
women frequently consider emotionally abusive acts to be more
devastating than physical violence.
The reason behind this silence could be that emotional abuse and
violence is complex to define and measure. It constitutes many kinds of
behavior or actions that cause emotional suffering. For instance,
denying emotional responsiveness, failing to provide care in a sensitive
and responsive manner, being detached and uninvolved, interacting only
when necessary, ignoring a person's mental health needs, treating the
spouse or any other as a 'job to be done', and so on. Being subjected to
the silent treatment for hours, days, weeks or even months on end can
also be emotionally draining for many. A common form of emotional abuse
is the denial of sexual relations. But as women, generally, are not
supposed to initiate or demand sex, this isn't deemed as violence.
Another reason why emotional abuse and violence remain under cover is
because many women choose to suffer in silence. The social and cultural
conditioning of women as guardians of family honor makes them feel
responsible. Besides, women themselves may not perceive emotional
violence to be as life threatening as physical violence. They may also
be under the impression that such behavior will disappear with time.
However, the truth is that emotional abuse follows a pattern; it is
repeated and sustained. If left unchecked, the abuse only gets worse
with time. What women themselves fail to realize is that, in the
bargain, they could end up with their sense of self-worth and
self-perception severely undermined.
It may be a subtler form of violence but emotional abuse can cause
serious mental trauma and agony. The scars of continued emotional abuse
can have serious physical or psychological consequences for women,
including severe depression, anxiety, persistent headaches, back and
limb problems. As shown in 'Provoked', a film based on the real life
story of Kiranjeet Ahluwalia in the UK, who killed her abusive husband,
victims do not just destroy their own physical and mental health, they
can even turn violent themselves after years of savage degradation.
Take the case of Renu and Others versus State of Haryana (1991), where
the court had ruled that accusing the wife of being barren amounted to
mental cruelty. In yet another case, Gonanath Pattnaik versus State of
Orissa (2002), the Court stated that 'cruelty', for the purposes of
constituting the offence, need not be physical. Even mental torture or
abnormal behavior may amount to cruelty and harassment in a given case.
The flawed and incomplete understanding of domestic violence is not just
harbored by popular discourse, but is revealed by police attitudes as
well. Knowing domestic violence as physical assault only, they may look
for injury marks to establish the crime. But for a victim of emotional
abuse, there are no outward bruises to show and prove one's violation.
Often, the victim cannot truly understand or explain how she is made to
feel. In many situations, when the police show up, the perpetrator may
appear calm and collected while the victim may appear hysterical. The
emotional violator often is reported to play 'mind-games' by lying,
contradicting, fabricating stories, denying or minimizing the scope of
his action/s inconsistently. Many perpetrators invalidate their
partners' perceptions of neglect and abuse. The motion picture
'Gaslight' (in the film, the husband convinces his wife that she is
going mad, so he can have her certified insane and confined, and can
then lay claim to her property without impediment) illustrates this
dynamic quite effectively. Such complexities make the identification and
verification of emotional violence rather tricky. Given the sensitive
nature of such situations, law enforcement agencies - in metros, towns
and villages - must be adequately oriented, sensitized and skilled to
handle such cases.
Thankfully, the new 2005 avatar of the law on domestic violence in India
- Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 - carries a more
substantive definition of violence. It goes beyond physical violence to
include forms of violence that hurt the dignity of a woman and impinge
upon her rights. It also stretches beyond relationships of marriage and
includes co-habiting partners, and others who share a household, such as
brothers and sisters. Most importantly, it acknowledges the acts of
'omission or commission', since omissions can be as grave and criminal
as commissions.
But having a stringent law in place is just half the battle. Since
emotional violence is harder to bear than physical violence, the popular
perception that views domestic violence just in terms of physical
violence needs to change. Women should especially be made aware of the
ramifications of emotional violence. Their families still need to be
sensitized to the dangers of ignoring emotional abuse.
Since laws cannot totally prevent violence, what is ideally needed is
the active engagement of men against domestic violence. Helping men
review their perceptions of masculinity and understand power dynamics in
personal relationships could be the first positive step. Society - most
specifically men - needs to engage with this concern more actively.
August 24,
2008
By arrangement with
WFS
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