Society Friend of
Desperate Housewives By Ziana Qaiser
The issue of domestic violence is often silenced in South Asian
communities - as in many communities. But a determined non-profit
organization in New York City has been hard at work to give a voice to
South Asian women who find themselves victimized and without support in
a foreign country.
Sakhi, meaning 'woman friend', was founded in 1989 by five South Asian
women. "These women came together because they felt there was a critical
need around domestic violence in New York's large immigrant South Asian
population that wasn't being addressed," says Sandeep Bathala, Director,
Direct Services, Sakhi.
"While a few
cultural and religious organizations existed in the area, there was
nothing that specifically addressed domestic violence."
Sakhi regards domestic violence as a 'pattern of abusive behavior which
keeps one partner in a position of power over the other through the use
of fear, intimidation, and control'. While women from all cultural
backgrounds face domestic abuse, Sakhi's services to women from South
Asian backgrounds are especially valuable for a number of reasons.
First, the shame of divorce and acknowledgement of domestic violence is
associated with social stigma and may prevent victims from seeking
resources. Then, immigrant women who are abused can also be at a loss as
to where to go for help. "Immigrant survivors may not know their rights
or find the complex legal and social service systems arduous to navigate
- because they are," observes Purvi Shah, Executive Director, Sakhi. "In
addition, some abusers threaten that if their partners seek help, they
will get deported. In fact, some survivors may qualify for immigration
relief as a result of the abuse. At Sakhi, we work to ensure that
survivors know their rights and their options so they can make informed
choices."
Another characteristic of several South Asian cases is that the woman
may be abused by her in-laws, family members as well as the husband.
Bathala explains, "In a sense, abuse by in-laws and other family members
can be compounded because of the importance of the joint or extended
family system in the South Asian community."
Chicago-based Mala, 28, was getting along just fine till one day after
her baby boy was born her mother-in-law decided to come and live with
them. From that time on, her life became a nightmare. Mala's
mother-in-law mentally and physically tortured her while her husband
witnessed the atrocities silently.
Then one day, he left, taking with him important documents, money, and
even Mala's wedding jewellery.
"He also
kidnapped my three-month-old son from the baby-sitter's and moved in
with his parents. I managed to get my son back and came to Sakhi. A
Sakhi staff member accompanied me to court to get an Order of
Protection. It is scary to go to Family Court alone and the Sakhi staff
helped me throughout the legal process. They put me in touch with a
lawyer and constantly assisted me to get back on my feet," recalls Mala.
Several women have reached out to Sakhi via their help-line number:
212.868.6741 or by emailing them at
contactus@sakhi.org.
In fact, the number of calls it has received over the years is
indicative of the crucial need that it addresses. Since the past five
years, the number of calls for help has been on the rise. "While the
majority of our calls are from New York and the surrounding areas, we do
get a number of enquiries from across the US and from overseas as well,"
says Bathala.
While the women are from a variety of backgrounds, Sakhi's statistics
reveal that their largest group of victims is made up of
first-generation immigrant women. These women are the most vulnerable
due to their limited resources.
When Shama, 21, came from Dhaka to New York in 1995, all she wanted to
do was to study medicine. But seven years later, she ended up seeking
help from Sakhi. It was her supervisor at work, who noticed the bruises
on her arms and advised her to go to the police. By then she had
suffered through three failed pregnancies and been physically, sexually
and psychologically abused her husband of three years. "I came to Sakhi
because I wasn't getting much help from the police. For the first time
in my life, I felt someone cared. The staff at Sakhi helped me with the
legal work, with scholarships and I also attended their Economic
Empowerment classes. Now, I am getting an Associates degree from
Brooklyn College and plan to undergo Sakhi's Advocate Training this year
so that I can help others tomorrow."
Sakhi's primary goals are to provide victims with support in the form of
direct services such as translation, court accompaniments, referrals for
health, housing and legal assistance as well as monthly support groups.
"We try and make the monthly support groups as accessible as possible,"
says Bathala, adding that Sakhi provides food, activities for children
and pays for local transport in order to remove as many barriers to
participation as possible.
It also aims to economically empower the survivors by conducting
educational and professional workshops. Health advocacy is another
important programme whereby Sakhi offers educational workshops and
resources on sexual health and self-defense strategies, among others.
While the direct services are undoubtedly invaluable, the NGO's strong
outreach programmes play an important role in spreading the awareness of
domestic violence.
With the
intention to reach out as far and wide in the South Asian community as
possible, Sakhi has participated in hundreds of community outreach and
partnership-building events. The results of these efforts have been
visible in the responses received from victims and their families. In
fact, Sakhi's statistics show that in 2006, of the 685 new requests for
assistance, 8.5 per cent came from men who were calling on behalf of
women they knew in abusive relationships. "We know that we are having a
community-wide impact due to the increase of men calling to get support
and resources for women they love. This is a tremendous step forward,"
Shah comments.
Sakhi sustains itself by relying on funding and investment from the
community. Individual donations and fund raising initiatives also
contribute.
At their gala in May this year, the theme of which was about building
strong communities, Sakhi featured Pakistani human rights activist
Mukhtaran Mai as a speaker and also honored her with an award for her
courage and bravery in confronting violence.
Advocating policy changes also ranks high on its agenda. A project that
Sakhi is currently working on is to ensure that survivors have proper
language access during court hearings. Explains Bathala, "Court
interpreters play a very important role in communicating women's stories
and therefore impact the outcome of legal cases concerning domestic
violence. Our goal is to ensure that they are adequately trained for
such an important job."
After 18 years, Sakhi continues to empower survivors of abuse to
transform their lives. "Our call volume may rise beyond 700 new requests
for support this year - our highest ever," says Bathala.
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