I went, I saw and I
conquered An empire for Rome But here at home Those scheming scoundrels And those senile senators Good at nothing But howling in the senate house, Their last resort, On comfortable cushioned seats Where they usually sleep and doze Or scowl at each other, Now in servile fearfulness Have lost their sleep To plot against me Employing all their ruses To rouse the plebeian rabble Accustomed only to be ruled Be it by republican rowdies Or by a Rex.
I have seen them often Those pettifogging demagogues The pigmies on a podium At the monument’s base In the big meadow or market place Yelling at the top of their small voice Against a fictitious foe Promising a paradise to all the pigs, Those groundlings roaring and relishing Any rotten thing that is thrown before them. I have ignored them always For these howling humbugs are so small Much beneath the sweep of my broad sword, All their heroics are only in rhetorics hollow, Even in a scuffle not to speak of a fight They are the first to flee. But have I ignored them long? For now I find my friend in their midst That noble man, the scion of a noble line, Who sits high in people’s hearts, Now frustrated fruitlessly trying To make men of those plebeian pigs Who always contented lie Wallowing in their ugly sties. Have the flatterer’s smooth tongues Made him believe Same is their aim— Not to accuse the stars Not to be underlings? My trustful friend, if only you knew How vile is this villainous lot Envious of anything great In their efforts to vilify me Themselves incapable of any great height They try to pull down all high things low They will borrow Your honorable image To invest with honor Their dishonorable deeds.
Oftener than not The credulous commoner In his rustic reasoning Makes the right choice, But he is always misled By these mischievous rogues. He knows Weakling as he is He cannot bear his own load It is better to leave The ablest man to lead. Given a choice Would you choose these pigmies And reject the colossus Capable of guarding your gates From thieves and thugs and marauders? Think before you drive your dagger home You opt for a worse tyranny The small nets of these small men Do not spare even the smallest fry While big nets leave them alone And once I am felled by these fall guys The centre removed, there’ll be nothing to hold These hypocrites baring their vicious fangs Will then rush at each other’s throats And in that general chaos
You will surely cry For another Caesar’s rise To rescue you from the rule of pigs.
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I went, I saw and I
conquered