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Workshop # 14
The road ahead of us was long and lonely. Kids played on its fringes and somewhere, a dog barked. But these did not bother me. I was already dreaming…And all I could see were the road and I… I was somewhere in the middle of this road. Though smooth and wide, it was completely deserted and I was all alone. The sun shone down brightly and there was no shade in sight. I kept on walking. My throat was parched and my limbs heavy and clumsy with sleep. Where was I going? I did not know. Perhaps, to the first sign of human inhabitation and some water…All on a sudden, the smoothness of the road gave way to roughness and pebbles. A yawning hole gaped at me and I retreated a step back in fear…What could I do now? I looked around and saw another road, a smoother one, albeit smaller. Happily, I took its course. For some time things were smooth, then the same thing happened – a yawning hole, this time larger and deeper…I was in despair. `God, I thought, I have to reach SOMEWHERE!’ but how will I do that if this keeps happening to me all the time? Already I am exhausted and have not much strength left… What was that speck in the distance? I strained hard to see but the sun was too blinding. The object, however, came closer and closer and I saw that it was a bicycle. Its wheels shining and bright, it lured me to use it to continue my journey. And there I was, seated atop the cycle, pedaling away to nowhere. Suddenly, a world opened up before me. A world where I was the only `normal’ inhabitant and all the rest of them were crazy and in awe of me. I was the absolute monarch, the unacknowledged king. A world of open fields, clear waters and shady trees. A world were everyone lived out in the open and there were no suffocating walls to call our own. A world were no one was related to the other and had no obligations to fulfill. The world ahead of me was mine, to make or break as per will. I could now indulge in all the eccentricities I wanted to, without fear or ridicule. Society could no longer hem me in with its taboos and dont’s. I could sleep and wake at leisure, eat all that I pleased, and read as much as I wanted to.. I could tear apart the grass in the field, muddy the clear water of the stream and fell all the trees around – all without being condemned or labeled as a lunatic. I could talk loudly to myself for hours on end and laugh hysterically. I could pretend to be king, beggar, fool, drunkard and lover. I could kill, plunder, loot and destroy, with no fear of retribution.. In fact, I could give vent to all the steam and passion that had built up in me for years. I could be the carefree, blithe soul that I had always wanted to be This was what I was waiting for –and the time had come. So where could I begin? I was not sure… But there…. all those things that I had dreamt of during my waking hours, did not attract me anymore. That desire to break free was no longer overpowering and the craving for solitude became suffocating. Suddenly, I wanted to be in human company. I wanted to talk, to laugh, to cry, to argue and to shout – loud and clear. I wanted to see and be seen. I wanted to hear and be heard. I longed with an ache, my drab job as a delivery boy and the abuses of my boss. I longed for the humble one-roomed dwelling that I contemptuously called `home’. Anything but this loneliness, this unlimited freedom. After all, if I was the only one here, how would I be `free’? Wasn’t freedom related to the life that we were living? Didn’t freedom exist only in tandem with slavery? In that case, couldn’t I taste freedom only if I knew what slavery and taboos meant? So in the end, wasn’t I very much a part of society, with its endless list of do’s and don’t’s? … The shrill blowing of the whistle brought me back to earth, rather rudely. Some kids were having fun with this new found toy. But I could not tarry. I had to go back. Back to work, back to life…but then there was always this stretch of road…..to help me loosen my earthly fetters, and also to tie me firmly and bring me back, once my dream was over…
–
Anita Joseph
Workshop # 14 Workshop # 16 | 15 | 14 | 13 | 12 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
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We
sat down on the ground, my fellow traveler and I. Our prized
possessions were beside us for company…for him, his bottle, for me, my
bicycle. Our mood was reflective and our aim, to rest and ponder. Time
was running out, before reality overcame us and life had to be lived
out…