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Workshop
# 16
Any Good News?
by Shyamala Sathiaseelan
I opened the
gift wrap and saw a beautiful poster of a woman and child running
towards each other on a beach. At any other point of time this would
have made me really happy. It was beautiful picture, but at this point
of time all I could do was to throw the picture on the bed and continue
packing quietly!
Let me give you a bit of background information about myself so you
understand exactly as to what is going on.
I am Tarisha, a 32 year old. I got married to Akash a couple of years
ago. Both of us are busy IT professionals living and enjoying life in
London. We have a beautiful home, two cars and all the luxuries that
life could offer. We don’t have any children yet.
Since I got married, the question on everybody’s lips has been “Any good
news?”. Initially I would answer saying “I am alive and that is the good
news for today!” As time went by it started getting on my nerves. I
guess now you get an idea of why I threw the lovely poster on the bed.
If you still didn’t get it, then read on…
Maami wasn’t impressed by the way I was behaving so she decided
to confront me.
Maami: Tarisha! Why are you throwing the poster on the bed?
Me: Maami, in how many other ways are you going to tell me that it is
high time I have a child?
Maami: I am not going to stop till you have a child. Do you know how
your parents and parents-in-law feel about this? Have you ever thought
about them? Why don’t you have a baby? If you think it is difficult for
you to raise the child because you are working you can leave the child
with your parents or in-laws. Your biological clock is ticking and you
might not have much time. It is not good for a woman to have a baby in
her thirties. Also you get an interest to live only when you have a
child.
The house was full as we had all returned from a family function and I
was packing my bags to head back to London the same night. I noticed
that everyone around me was listening to this conversation. I had to
react quick and I had to do it the right way. I thought for a minute and
then started talking…
Maami, from the day I got married everyone has been talking of a baby.
Has anyone thought about what I feel? I want you and everyone else in
this room to listen carefully… I am telling you now, stop doing this to
me or anyone else. If a couple do not have babies it can be for thousand
different reasons. Maybe they are not ready to have a child, maybe they
are scared and worried if they can be a good parent, maybe they are not
ready to handle the addition of one more member financially, or maybe
they are trying but there is some sort of physical problem that they
have… there can be a million other reasons and they don’t want to share
it with everyone. By asking them constantly why they are not having a
baby are you not putting them in an embarrassing position? They would
share it with you if they think they should, why ask?
Ani akka here, had to go through fertility treatment before she
could have a child, imagine what she would have gone through the first
five years when everyone asked her if she was planning not have children
soon.
Maami if I would get an interest in life only if I have a child then you
mean to say I have lived the past 32 years without any interest in life?
I love life more than you can imagine. I cherish each and every moment
of life.
I have seen couples who have had children in the first year of their
marriage for the sake of having a child… just to prove that the women is
capable of having children and the man is not impotent. But they seem to
be so busy in life that they have no time to enjoy the first smile of
their child or the first step the child took… to avoid the guilt factor
they give the child anything the child wants and spoil the child rotten!
To add to this, I’ve even heard of couples say “When I come back home, I
am so tired that I don’t care what the child eats or whether it sleeps,
I am only worried about my food and sleep.” Do you think this is
interest in life? I don’t want to be one of those couples. I want to
have a child and cherish each moment with my child.
And I have some news for you and everyone here. We have decided not to
have our own child, instead we are going to adopt two lovely children
from “Helping Hands”. That is were I went yesterday without telling
anyone. Motherhood is not about having your own child and loving it to
death, but being able to love any child as your own. I know I should not
have announced it this way, but none of you gave me a chance.
Now I am going to take this poster and find a real expensive frame for
it and put it in my living room because it is lovely and I like it… if
only the picture had two children instead of one, it would have been
perfect!
There was pin drop silence in the house as I finished speaking. I turned
around and continued packing as though nothing had happened. The next
minute a soft hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see my mother and
father standing in front of me. The two of them gave me a hug. The hug
said what they hadn’t said, that they respect my decision and stand by
me.
I might have been a bit hard on Maami but I am sure she and the rest of
them would understand and not bother anyone with the standard question
“Any good news?” ever again.
January 30,
2006
Workshop # 16
Articles
Amma by Bhaskar Kolluri
Any Good News? by Shyamala Sathiaseelan
Childhood Innocence by Arya Bhushan
Knowledge: The Role of an Initiator by Mahesh Sharma
Mother – An Object of Reverence by Naira Yaqoob
- Winner # 1
Mommy and Me by Rajameena
My Flesh and Blood by Pavalamani Pragasam
Perspectives by Manjula Waldron
That Singular Moment by Dr. Vidur Jyoti
The Embrace of the Sea Goddess by Michael Levy
- Winner # 2
Stories
A Year Since the Tsunami by Kanchan Mahesh
Only for You by Mehru Jaffer
Poetry
A Mother's Joy by Michael Levy
A Son... by Rina Basu
A Timeless Tale by Mahesh Jambunathan
Agony Of a Lonely Son by Jyothi Lakshmi. B
Boy! by NS Murty
By The Sea by Dr. Uma Asopa
Come by Frances Schiavina
Come On Hug Honey! by T.A. Ramesh
Each Day is a Lifeline by Shane Taylor
Eternity's Moments by Sudipta Chatterjee
From Me to You by Ramendra Kumar
How I Wish I Had My Childhood Back! by NS Murty
Into the Arms of Mother Nature by Kanchan Mahesh
Joy Meets Its Maker by Sugandha Indulkar
Let's Run Together by Miryam Masih Nahar
Little Bird by Prashant Bhushan
Mind's Window by Seema Banerjee-Ray
Missing You by Kerry Lowe
Mother by Anisa Chaudhary
Mother and Sea by AJ Rao
Mother Calling by Rajeshwari Hemmadi
Mother Embrace Child by Jayati Gupta
Mother to her Child by Gaurang Bhatt, MD
My Child by Dr. Sirisha Dabiru
My Refuge by Vasanta Athilat
My Sonny Boy by Ramendra Kumar
Now and Then by Dr. Amitabh Mitra
Ocean of Love by Shernaz Wadia
- Winner # 3
Sea of Love by Bibhudatta Dash
Silent Expression! by Bollimuntha Venkata Ramana Rao
Someone by Naira Yaqoob
Soul's Canvas by Seema Banerjee-Ray
The Arrival by Sudipta Chatterjee
The Child Within by Charlene Howard
The Gift of Bliss... by Joy A Burki-Watson
The Sea is Calling by Smita Agrawal
The Theft by Saptarshi Das
The Way You Make Me Feel... by Neha Girotra
To Strangers! by Seema Banerjee-Ray
Tsunami by Frances Schiavina
Unconditional Love by Christine Redman-Waldeyer
Untitled by Maneesha
Water Polo by Seema Banerjee-Ray
Where All Duality Ends ... by Sugandha Indulkar
With Open Arms, I Welcome The Future by Sugandha
Indulkar
Your Open Wide Arms by Rajender Krishan
Workshop
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