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Love, Life & Marriage
|by Devavratan Kaundinya|
I have been following Aamir Khan’s recent popular talk show ‘Satyamev Jayate’. He keeps choosing mostly topics which are basically women-centric so far. Well, nothing wrong about it and if his conclusions through the powerful visual medium could reach a few of the country’s millions of population and make them aware of such evils, it is only a welcoming attempt.
But, the last episode on ‘Love Marriages’, in my view, was a bit lopsided. Not all love marriages are successful and at the same time not all the arranged ones are perfect. Marriage life demands a lot of compromises and mutual understanding.
Several cases of love marriages have turned out to be nightmare for the women as well as men. The reason is simple; during the courtship, each individual tries to show only the best and positive side. Only after the consummation of marriage, the ugly sides rear their heads on both sides.
I still don’t subscribe to the theory of ‘love at first sight’. It is just a ‘desire’ and not ‘love’. The hormonal influences propel the opposite sexes to invent the concept of love in many instances. I know a lady who fell in love with a vagabond drunkard and suffered with him antagonizing both sides for a long time with two children. Her relief came not because of her husband’s changed life but because of his suicide in one of his drunken stints. Another modern day IT couple married because both fell in love at the rebound of their earlier failed affairs. Their marriage also didn’t last longer, however. We hear today a lot about marital disharmony leading to divorces.
In my personal experience I feel the Indian population is unique. They cling to several faiths and customs without logic. For a Brahmin youth who is born, brought up and to be settled in the US, Upanayanam (the sacred thread ceremony) is conducted in India in a grand manner. Can one expect him to follow the norms of a Brahmin and ‘Gayatri Mantra’ chanting in the US? I doubt. We demand dowry even if the boy earns handsome salary in the US but opt for harassing the bride’s side with least qualm. Khan’s earlier episode covered a couple such dowry evils in the earlier program.
We, the Indians, prefer to follow western style for their materialistic and comfortable lives. For other benefits, we want to follow ‘Indian orthodoxy’. For example, the pomp and pageantry exhibited during Indian marriages. In the present day milieu, ‘Love marriages’ and ‘Divorces’ belong into that category.
Aamir included a few suggestions in his concluding part on understanding the anxiety of the parents and also the importance of understanding of children by the parents. But, Marriages ‘love’ or ‘arranged’, ‘traditional’ or ‘modern’ need maturity and understanding than anything else. Period.
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