At times when I read write-ups and essays on how to be ‘happy’, I felt either terribly stupid or positively irritated. Some say grow a garden and see the flowers blossoming; watch the birds chirping and flying freely; read a book of your choice and feel happy; some go to the extent of asking oldies to sing and dance to keep themselves relieved from the monotony of this dreary life. In one movie and also in some videos I have seen a bunch of old people gather in a garden and laugh out loudly! LOL!

All these are bound to bring the much eluding ‘Happiness’ not only among ‘old’ but also ‘middle aged and frustrated’.

Well, life is not interesting for everyone but engaging as far as there are needs and expectations. After a stage for everyone, these two things, in the present day milieu, are not there. Most of them have money, properties, children well placed with precocious grandchildren abroad, except for the typical health issues like BP and sugar plus arthritis, in general, the old people are also fairly healthy, carefree and enjoying their evening of life.

The first paragraph of advice I have been reading almost a million times in differently phrased sentences in the media, articles, essays, pep talks, forwarding messages in groups and what not!

Let me share one bitter truth; life is ‘interesting’ and engaging only as long as there is ‘need’ and ‘expectations’. If all needs are attended to there is hardly anything there to expect. So the counselors suggest seeing flowers, sky, sing songs, dance, visit temples etc. Anyways, visiting temples is beneficial as one is sure to collect the goodwill of the Almighty.

Are these suggestions valid for all aged, lonely parents or oldies or frustrated middle aged people?

Hardly.

I am telling from my personal experience. I read, write, am computer savvy and watch movies, talk to friends, (sometimes too much, remember my earlier post on garrulous oldies), listen to music both classical and film, search and watch some favorite old films, listen to old songs also, go on shopping if there is need.

Yes. With all these, I too feel depressed and forlorn at times for no particular reason. That is life. None can help it. No councilor can come and show you flowers, sing a song or dance and engage you in topics of your interest. To the best of my knowledge and experience, most of the elders are interested in multiplying their investment and interest. I feel that is a good practice to keep them engaged and happy.

We need to understand life with all its vagaries and bitterness as well as sweetness. None can be always happy even if he/she is a millionaire or a pauper.

Life is full of circles; concentric, overlapping, cutting, haphazard, binding and sometimes throttling. They cannot be avoided and they definitely cause mood swings.

Mood always swings; they are unavoidable. Accept them as they come.