Analysis

Yet Another Fake Pilot!

“Come in,” the Director-General of Country’s Affairs (DGCA) shouted. 

“You sent for me, Sir?”

“Ah yes, Mr. Singh isn’t it?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Mr. Singh you know currently there is a huge scandal about many fake pilots who endanger the lives of travelers. I am afraid we have heard many complaints about your flying. Passengers are terrified. They say your aircraft wobbles, somersaults and flies off at a tangent. So we have to check your credentials. Don’t worry, it is a routine exercise.”

“You are welcome, Sir. I may mention though that the last time I interacted with passengers in 2009 they appeared quite satisfied.”

“Yes, yes! May I see your flying license please? Thank you. Hmm! You fly the second largest aircraft in the world, isn’t it? I see it accommodates a billion passengers. Now let’s see… wait a minute! This license ought to have been signed by an entire 200 strong Committee. Did the Committee test you?  This is signed by just one person!”

“Don’t worry, Sir! The lady who signed this license and appointed me to fly the plane spoke for all the Committee. The Committee always obeys her!”

“How many hours of flying experience did you have before obtaining the license?”

“I did not fly myself for even one minute, Sir. But I was a co-pilot for two experienced pilots. I observed their performance very closely.”

The DGCA coughed. “This is very irregular, Mr. Singh. That lady who gave you the license, is she an experienced pilot herself?” 

“She is a very experienced backseat pilot, Sir! She has never flown a plane herself.”

The DGCA sighed. “I am afraid that won’t do, Mr. Singh! The lady has sold you a fake license. We will have to consider you a fake pilot. Did you pay anything for the license?”

The pilot burst into tears. “I paid through my nose, Sir,” he sobbed. “I paid with my honour! I paid with my reputation! I paid in installments! I still have to keep paying an installment every single day! Boo-hoo-hoo!”  

The DGCA shook his head. “I really don’t know what to say. The safety of a billion passengers is at stake. Don’t you think you should do something about that yourself…?”  
    

25-Mar-2011

More by :  Dr. Rajinder Puri

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