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Spoof: PMO Mystery Cleared!
|by Dr. Rajinder Puri|
007 picked up his mobile as it blinked. It was Miss Moneypaisa. “007, you’re wanted in office. M wants to see you this afternoon.”
“Right,” said 007 and switched off the phone. There were still a couple of hours to kill. 007 leisurely shaved and bathed and walked down the stairs to the street. He sauntered towards the bus stand. With a faint smile he recalled M telling him, “007, you are among the half dozen RAW operatives with the double-0 prefix. You know what that means. You have the license to kill time. I’m not giving you any car allowance. You can travel by bus.”
There was a crowd at the bus stand. People refused to queue up. 007’s thin somewhat cruel lips curled in a smile. His karate training would be put to good use, he thought. When the bus lumbered to a stop there was a mad rush. 007 adroitly elbowed his way to the front. An old man was in the way. 007 struck the back of his neck with a clean karate chop. The old man gurgled and sank to the ground. 007 stepped over him and leapt as the bus started to move.
After loafing around the street to kill time 007 entered the RAW building. There was a new security guard at the gate.
“Your name?” barked the guard.
“Bondopadhya, Jamshed Bondopadhya,” 007 said curtly. The guard’s eyes widened. He gave a smart salute. 007 was a legend among RAW employees. As he entered M’s office complex Miss Moneypaisa was waiting. “The Chief is waiting,” she said archly. “You’re late.”
He knocked and went into M’s room. M looked up from a newspaper in his hand. He looked worried. “Sit down 007,” he said. “There is a most unusual assignment come our way. The enemy has asked for our assistance!”
007 narrowed his eyes. “Which enemy, Sir – China or Pakistan ?”
M sighed. “Neither, 007. The CBI wants our help!”
For a moment there was a stunned silence. “What on earth can we do for them, Sir?” 007 exclaimed.
M pushed forward the paper in his hand. “Read that 007.” Jamshed looked down and saw a report penciled in red. It said that the PMO had pleaded that on the basis of the Shungloo Committee Report the CBI be ordered to probe the CWG scam. “Don’t you get it, 007? The CBI is directly under the PM. The CBI wants to know whose permission the PM is seeking!
007 frowned. “I’ll see what I can do, Sir!” He had a contact in the PMO. He had done favours for the head peon. He contacted him on his mobile and they met on a park bench. 007 explained the problem. “CBI wants to know whose permission the PM seeks.”
The peon looked furtively to the right and left. He leaned forward and said hoarsely, “I can tell you it is not Mrs. Sonia Gandhi. Before PMO opened its mouth she must have cleared it in advance. ”
“Exactly,” said 007 impatiently. “Then who can be the PM’s new secret boss, man? Advani, Karat, Pranab? CBI is worried stiff!”
The peon sat back with a satisfied smirk. “It is Rahul!” he said. “The PM now wants clearance from both Soniaji and Rahul!”
007’s head started to swim. “You mean Mrs. Gandhi and Rahul do not see eye to eye any more?”
“Of course they do,” the peon said crossly. “But the PM is very farsighted. He has started to butter up Rahul right now, much before he becomes the PM! When that happens Rahul may retain him as a minister in his cabinet…”
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