Love between Man and Woman!

Instinct and Intelligence

As Love is a matter of the heart, the great emotional power of it can be realised only when one feels it.  To understand this emotional power is one thing and to practise it is another thing, because even to understand what sex is and how it has to be practised, there is great difficulty among animals and men too.  It is scientifically found that the rats automatically indulge in the act of sex without any previous knowledge or guidance, whereas the apes do not indulge in it unless they have seen it in actual practice. 

This is because the instinct of the rat is very strong, whereas in the case of the ape the intelligence over shadows the instinct because of congenital ignorance.  Therefore to know or understand a thing apart from Love both instinct and intelligence are utilised in varying degrees by all living beings.  If the power of the instinct is high, then the power of the intelligence is low.  Where the intelligence is great, the instinct becomes weak and ineffective there.  Unlike the rat, the ape acquires the knowledge of sex-behaviour from its fellows only.  When that is so, what is the position of man who has six senses?

Love in Literature

Indeed, the practice of love between man and woman is a complicated thing.  Here it should be remembered of Russell’s definition of good life in his book, What I Believe that “the good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.”  The inspiration of good life is obtained by love only.  So, the knowledge of love becomes a necessity.  Therefore love has to be learned by means of some guidance.  Literature imparts the knowledge of love.  From literature it is understood that love is the greatest possible expression of human emotion and that it can be better understood or experienced only when it is aptly felt by human heart.  The emotions of other people cannot be sensed by mere appearance.  Through the actions and words of the people only this can be understood.

From literature one can come across that love is expressed through so many ways such as love letters and even death letters too.  This means that love is a thing that should move the heart of man; otherwise, it is not at all love.  That is why those who sacrifice, as in stories, their lives for this deep emotional expression are rare.  Why should we go to that extent?  When the talent for literary expression is rare, the talent to express one’s love will be rarest!  Therefore it has to be said that the love of man springs forth like a glimpse now and then, when something moves inside the heart.

Love Varies from Man to Man  

For every person love alone gives real comfort, inspiration, encouragement, hope and courage to deal wilt problems successfully in life.  Every man needs love and security to lead a fine life.  According to the type of life one chooses to live, one needs security and love.  Hence the meaning of love also varies from person to person.

  1. The down to earth type of life, a man likes to live would feel secure if he has huge money in the bank, buildings, fields and automobiles.  The type of love such men prefer as per their taste would be of the humanised needs of the animal passion.
  2. The men who prefer decent life would have a sense of security in the maintenance of beauty, decency and aestheticism and such men prefer a love of reciprocation in the matters of civilisation, human refinement and so on.
  3. The men who are interested in the intellectual type of life would feel secure in search of truth or in some sound philosophy.  These intellectuals would find love by surrendering their self to the miraculous power, which is other than human in nature.
  4. Finally the mystical or the spiritual way of life, the people prefer to lead, would find a sense of security by making progress towards the perfection of human nature.  For them the pleasure of love will be the mystical communion of human spirit with the Universal spirit.

But whatever be the ideas of love each one has, man lives because he has someone to love or something to love or some higher power to love so that he could get a sense of security or satisfaction in the world.

Blossoming of Love between Man and Woman

Indeed it is impossible to understand how love blossoms between man and woman.  The philosopher Godwin’s Free Love and the poet Shelley’s Platonic Love of the Romantic Period in the 18th Century England are quite interesting to read.  The romantic poets’ theories and practices of love are quite nostalgic and sentimental in nature.  This sort of sentimental love is entirely different from the desire or favouritism, deep interest or likings of men.  Their love did not stand firm because their character and mind were not strong.  However their metaphysical utterances clearly defined the weaknesses of every human being in general.  But the 16th century Shakespeare’s Romantic Love plays are quite fine to think about.

Shakespearean Love

The Shakespearean love starts at the first sight itself, continues in a romantic manner and successfully completes in the marriage or in the tragedy without any change of heart.  In this connection the famous love-plays of Shakespeare like Romeo and Juliet and Antony and Cleopatra could be quoted as examples for the romantic love stories of that time.  In the Indian Classical Epics like Ramayana and Mahabharata also the love between two youths starts initially with the face to face gaze of eyes and immediately the two sexes become one in opinion both in the heart and in the mind.  Then the lovers bear all sorts of agony and ecstasy in the same manner till they get united in the marriage.  That is the depiction of the true love of men both in the West and in the East.

Cupid and Manmatha

If one goes still further back the Greek mythological stories and the Indian mythological stories give the answer as to how the love starts between a man and a woman. From these mythologies one will understand that the arrows of Cupid of Greek mythology or the Indian counterpart, Manmatha have the power to kindle the passion of love in men, if they hit their hearts.  From the books one will get this much of answer only.  But these are the inanimate books of nature.  The birds reveal what is the source of love and how it all begins from the behaviour of the birds it is clear to know that beauty, dance, music and freedom are the source for love and the youngsters who are caught by the spell of this magic begin the amorous affair in no minute and go ahead in their pursuit of the romantic activities till they materialise their object as painted in the romantic literatures of the world!  The blind boy Cupid’s arrow of love unites two unequal persons as equals irrespective of their differences in position, possession and power in love.  That is why it is said that love is blind!

Benefits and Source of Love

Whether love brings happiness or sorrow, man does everything for the sake of love.  The beautiful things like temples, monuments, castles, paintings, sculptures and poems men have made are some of the achievements for the sake of their love remain forever talking about then power of human love to the posterity.  Only love has such a power and is really a great power in the world.

Who Woos Who?

Then a great question arises i.e. whether man is after woman or woman is after man?  From the readings of G.B. Shaw’s works it is clear that the myth that man always goes after woman is wrong and in reality it is the reverse that usually happens!  This will remind everyone that the name woman is given to the fair sex because it is the women who actually woo the men!  Even the classical poet Milton in his great Epic, Paradise Lost has said, “He is for God, and she is for God in him.”  The first western theory on the creation of man also says that God has first created Man and then only created Woman from the left side rib of the man.  Perhaps due to this theory man may be treating woman as his subordinate.  In the west, it looks that men treat women in any manner they like even after the world has widely accepted Rousseau’s political philosophy based on the idea of “Liberty, Equality and Fraternity.” In the East, women who were going by the saying that “Husband is the known God” for a long time are favouring the fact that both man and woman are equal.

Whose Love is Great?

But, whatever it is, because women are patient, tender hearted and capable of fostering children with due care by nature, it can be said that that they are born for love and from them only love must have been known to the world and love is existing in the world.  And mainly due to such special nature women are capable of changing even bad men into good men and make love prevail in the world forever.  Again due to their special nature it is the woman, who first indirectly provokes him to sacrifice everything for the sake of love.  Therefore it is to be concluded that through the solace, comfort, inspiration and encouragement of the mother only, man knows about love first; then only he knows about it from his father, brothers, sisters and relatives, from his friends of his age, from his lady love or wife and others; and shows his love to his children and others.  Between the love of mother and love of woman, the former one is the greatest and irreplaceable one for man, because even if he loses one lady love or wife, he may get another one but never another mother in life.  That is the love of man in the world.


More by :  T. A. Ramesh

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