Accepting Homosexuality by Devavratan Kaundinya

Accepting Homosexuality

by Devavratan Kaundinya

The present debate going on the decriminalization of homosexuality in India is rather amusing. Though as a matter of natural phenomena (sorry, according to the pedant, it is unnatural) homosexuality exists all over the globe, it is, however, very difficult in India to make it legal, acceptable and consider natural and above all as an individual’s preference.

Let me explain you why. We belong to a country which is more interdependent than anyone else in the other parts of the world. We consider ‘family’, ‘tradition’, ‘marriage’ and ‘children’ very sanctimonious. We believe in proving ourselves to the society as a ‘man’ or ‘woman’ only through begetting children. We have great attachments towards materials and mortals to the point of strangulating the other. We love to be loved by others but with our least efforts. We, Indians always expect something in return for everything we have done or we do.

Even when we go to the Almighty we expect something substantial, materialistic and useful to us for the prayers we offer. We always try to bribe the God for doing favors. But, here it is termed in a polished way with a different terminology. We study to earn money mainly and not for the quest of knowledge. We get dowry to marry. We expect our wives to bear children. We expect our children to act according to our demands. We want them to fulfill our unfulfilled dreams. We are delighted only if we get some special physical or monetary benefits for whatever we do.

In gay relationships, these are the major casualties. First of all one cannot flaunt their relationship. Second it does not get one anything except sexual pleasure. One may not get any physical product out of this love. In all probabilities one may likely to acquire AIDS which is a gateway to death. The love need not necessarily last long. Gay marriages are more fragile than normal marriages. So for an average Indian, the same sex relationship is only for temporary pleasure and not for a value added product.

It is no blaming of any individual. It is the society. It is the Indian culture which always works mainly on greed referred as ambition and returns in the form of physical products. That is the reason why this country which claims to be 'poor' but stash away astronomical sums of money in foreign banks.

So legalize or criminalize same sex relationship in India. It will not find favor from any section of the society and thrive or flourish, not withstanding the ever increasing staggering population. So one need not have to give great importance to this topic; it is just another time pass for the public, well, for a slightly a liberated group.

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17-Feb-2012

More by : Devavratan Kaundinya

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Comments on this Article

The article is completrely biased and absurd. gay relationships are not for sex alone. there is definitely a strong emotional bonding between a gay couple. I am with my partner since the last 5 years and we are staying together and will also stay together for the rest of our lives. We stay as a normal husband and wife, got married and live like any couple.
Ups and downs are there in every relationship. Don't hetro marraiges end in divorce?
I am surprised this article has so many supporters. This brings out the fact that most people are ignorant about gay relationships and confuse it with sex. A lot of education and awareness is required.

Biswa
03/01/2012 02:39 AM

BS of first order... nuthing objective abt it... the first part is just mocking the indian society... article is full of generisaltions... its purely the author's perception...

The author's premise is that indian society is so so so.. and so soo soo... well... society needs to evolve... just because it is so so.. doesn't mean the society is right... 100 years back... sati widow remarriages etc etc was blasphemous... did it make it right???

Also, all assumptions abt gay relationships are BS... I have been with a partner for over 2 years... I am a 27 yr old.. and plan to be with him till my last breath... and even if doesnt last.. one must know that str8 marriages too aren't forever... hope the concept of "divorces" is not alien to the author...

We as gays are asking only one thing... we are no different from any other str8 person.. except the gender of the person we want to spend our lives with... why should it make a difference to any other person what i do within the 4 walls of my bedroom...

Live and let live is all we ask.. we too have just one life... why do we live it doing things we dont wish to do... why should be we subjected to unjust discrimination... Why shouldn't we have the right to express our love to those whom we love...

as far as contracting AIDS and the likes of it.. I hope u know how it is contracted... the AID virus doesn't check the sexuality of a person before infecting...

Peace!

Bharatk
02/25/2012 02:15 AM

I am happy to read very precise to detailed comments on my write-up on 'Accepting Homosexuality'. It is written with the view why the Indian community will not accept gay relationship as a normal behavior. There are definitely exception to all general rules. But, India is a land where hypocrisy will be at its peak in any act they do. Again, I wanted to convey my writing is not to criticize or undermine homosexuality but to highlight why it is and will be denied and difficult for the Indian population to accept it. Those who think that I am against it can read the stories I have uploaded in my name in the same blog. I thank profusely all those who have responded to my write up.

Devavratan Kaundinya
02/23/2012 05:17 AM

Yes I completely agree with the author and his points..:)

ragu
02/22/2012 06:54 AM

I'd like to put in my points against your essay.

1. Culture is not some stagnant lake or water body. It's an ever evolving organism. What was once culture is today an abomination - sati, banishing of widows, untouchability, etc., to name a few. And, what did NOT exist as part of culture today are very much a part of our culture - including eating tomatoes.

2. How can you flaunt a relationship that is not even legally approved of? If once it's legally approved, even I'd like to flaunt it.

3. When you're (possibly) not a gay, you're making the assumption that gay people can only have sex and not relationship. Would you please provide the basis for your conclusion? All I would want to humbly submit to you is this: You're Incorrect.

4. There is NO need that a relationship has to physically PRODUCE something. haven't you ever come across married couple who've lived together for decades without children? they may be disappointed for sure, but not everyone has walked out of the wedlock just because of this. If you look around you'll see even many married couples who do NOT want to have children even if they're capable of.

5. AIDS is not something proprietary to gay people. If you notice around you, you'll find that there is a larger incidence of AIDS/HIV among drivers and substance-abusers. And, it's unsafe sex practices that may lead to HIV/AIDS and straight people too are as flippant as gay people there. It's just that you possibly can explain away when a straight person contracts HIV with many excuses.

6. Marriage - like many other practices - is an artificial institution. We have created it for our possible good. And, there's no divine sanction that it's existed from day one of human evolution. So, because it's an artificial construct, it'll be as fragile or strong as the belief carried by two people who participate in it. Once upon a time there was nothing like divorce and today we have it. So, how did the marriage and culture evolve to accept this?

7. Being gay is as good as being straight. Its not a fad to spread and flourish. Those who're gay will stay so and ditto straight people. Population or fashion have got nothing to do with sexuality or sexual preferences. There may not be an immediate spurt in openness of gay people in the aftermath of the judgment (assuming the SC will rule in favour). But, over time that too shall happen.

It's time we stop being so subjective, narrow-minded and stuck-up.

Thanks

Sudhir
02/22/2012 02:44 AM

- "First of all one cannot flaunt their relationship"

If the society embraces us, we can flaunt our relationship. Of course we are proud of it

- "Second it does not get one anything except sexual pleasure"

It is not just for sexual pleasure, it is the very basic human emotion of having an intimate partner. There is no dearth of love, concern, care, and responsibility in gay relationships. Having kids is secondary and it is again a personal choice. Does that mean the relationship between straight couples who do not bear kids is also not valid? If a gay couple did want to have kids, they can adopt one and I dont see why the parental care should be any different.

- "In all probabilities one may likely to acquire AIDS which is a gateway to death"

- I would like to educate the author on AIDS here. May it be man-woman sex or man-man sex, HIV can be transmitted only if one of the participating individuals is already infected and their practices are unsafe. Sex with protection or monogamy will avoid this irrespective of the kind of sex.

- "The love need not necessarily last long. Gay marriages are more fragile than normal marriages. So for an average Indian, the same sex relationship is only for temporary pleasure and not for a value added product."

The author's statement about love is true for any love. His opinion about gay marriages is premature since it had not even been given a chance. The first part of the third statement is baseless and the second part does not make sense unless 'value added product' is defined.

Finally he ends it with an indifferent "does not matter to india" attitude and not without a self-contradiction. With such high and ever increasing population, chances are India has the highest gay population the world with its own unique challenges to face. Do 10% of gay indians (modest estimates) not matter to India?

bala
02/22/2012 02:18 AM

Hmm..

author should explore his opinion...

as normal, he is dumbing on society ..

sir , you are one of the member in society ....

lot of gay couple are living togehter more than 10 years in a relationhip more than a sexual pleasure .

Senthil Kumar
02/22/2012 00:25 AM

Statements like "Second it does not get one anything except sexual pleasure" reveal the author's abject ignorance.

Let the author confine his remarks to subjects he has first-hand knowledge of, and leave the analysis of gay love to those of us who have loved thus.

Sriram
02/21/2012 22:25 PM

I'm an escapist Indian recently came to the western world to escape from all what is being mentioned by the writer and make a fresh beginning for my career and life and with hope that someday I will be able to return back to my country with pride and acceptance.

ProudQueer
02/21/2012 20:02 PM

This writeup is offbeat and thought provoking...Wish some of our Indian gays read it...

Anirudh
02/19/2012 02:37 AM

Very objectively and neatly put.

Varanasi Ramabrahmam
02/18/2012 11:29 AM

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