Society & Lifestyle
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|by Ramandeep Sidhu|
A healthy mind lives in a healthy body and a healthy heart lives inside a healthy mind. In a lifetime all our happiness and sorrow depend upon how our relationships are with people around us. It is a lifelong desire for most people to have healthy relationships. I was once told by someone that if the basic pillars of life are firmed (which again refers to our relationships with our people), life can be lived to the fullest. But being able to have a successful and fulfilling relationship with people in our lives seems like a hard nut to crack or if I may say a nutcracker. We constantly hear from people about how frustrated they are in their important and immediate relationships with parents, children, spouses, siblings, friends and almost everyone that they know. Its tragic but not serious though.
Bryan Dyson, CEO of Coke, said in an interview that life is like juggling five balls in the air. They are work, family, health, friends and spirit and one has to keep all of these in the air. Work is a rubber ball. If we drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls are made of glass. If we drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, niched or even shattered. They will never be the same. We must understand and strive for it.
My interpretation of Dyson’s speech is that the most important things in life are relationships. The right priorities in life are Spirit, Family and business/work. People have it the other way around. Work is the most important followed by Family and then individual spirit.
A good relationship in these times is not one that just works but one that allows both the partners to coexist with self-respect, individuality and the prospects to grow. We often drag baggages from our inglorious past, without realizing that we are involuntarily twisting a promising relationship. I had to learn to deal with my anger and frustration. We become what we think about, most of the times. I had to use a different brush for painting my future. I had to forgive and forget, especially myself
In a good relationship each person must be aware of his own strengths and weaknesses as well as those of their partner. You gotta strengthen your strengths and work on your weaknesses. The foundation of a relationship has to be based on friendship. Love can be described as two good friends becoming better friends. The strongest, most successful and passionate relationships have friendship as their base. On the contrary if the element of friendship is absent, the relationship is shallow and vulnerable to attacks from external and internal threats. An adhesive to successful and strong relationship is sacrifice. Most people expect this from their partners, rarely doing it themselves. It’s easy for any relationship to carry on if the going is easy. It’s only during the tough times when people start looking in the other directions. When I lost my job, masks were taken off a lot of faces, which I believed were my well-wishers and truest mates. Nevertheless I forgave them. I didn’t want to waste my time and energy on them. I didn’t want to carry the garbage on my shoulders. Love is not supposed to give you pain of any kind. Love should make you secure and vulnerable at the same time. There must always be someone to catch you when you fall. That is the kind of love that drives out fear and provides genuine security.
I believe that when you try too hard to convince the other person of your love, you infact confuse them. Many people question the other person`s love at all times. This is mostly due to self-doubt. Never ask your partner to do what you cannot do yourselves.
In many years I have come to believe that communication is the savior of the world let alone relationships. Bad communication or ineffective communication is like bad breath; you scare people away.
“When you look in the mirror and you see what you see…if you were to be looking at what you see in the mirror, would YOU want you?”
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