Random Thoughts

Distant Dreams

“My passport is lost, Mom”, said my son, from America. It was shocking to hear the news, more so as we were eagerly anticipating his visit in 5 more days. He had stopped to fill gasoline in his car and had gone to the grocer to pick up some things. He returned to find his car glass shot and his backback stolen from the car seat. Same thing had happened to two more cars parked there. The helpless feeling that we as parents underwent is indescribable. But, it is difficult for others to empathize with us. The usual reaction is that life is all PLUS for parents whose children study and work abroad. It is commonly assumed that life all rosy. But, reality is entirely different. The ordeal of the whole process of sending children to study abroad has to be experienced to comprehend our predicament.
It is not easy to see our children, fresh out of college leave the country to study. Apart from the heavy financial commitment, the formalities involved in the whole process drain out all energy. The fact that today’s youngsters are most insensitive to their not-so-young parents’ agony of doing all their work. The spoon-feeding that started in babyhood is never-ending.
Things would not improve for parents even after their children resume their studies. The problem of adjustment with new friends would loom large – you would get phone calls and skype calls at odd hours and parents would have to face sleepless nights, the difference in time zone adding fuel to fire!
The painful passing away of few semesters would lead to the greatest concern of all students, internship. Internship would be hard to clinch, despite all of parents’ sincere help in the form of friends’ and relatives’ phone numbers and contacts. It would be a rude shock to the youngsters to realize that no one really wants to get involved with an unemployed student!
Soon, studies would get over, with or without internship and then, would begin the nightmarish search for a job. By the time one gets employed, the person becomes really hardened as a person. He no longer cares for relatives or family friends. His world consists only of the friendships he made when he was a struggling student. His personality changes so much that even the loss of passport is dealt only according to his peer advice! No suggestion from India, from parents or other relatives is taken note of.
Numerous suggestions are made in vain to retrieve a duplicated passport in a jiffy,  by relatives. My son is now applying for a passport is what I know. I have no idea why he has cancelled his plans to visit India. What we as parents can do is to pray for the speedy retrieval of my son’s passport and his visit to India in the near future.


More by :  Sujatha Natarajan

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Views: 3526      Comments: 2

Comment Hi Vasuna, it's shocking to hear of Jayent in Maryland - yes indeed, as time advances, the distance makes the heart long..

19-Oct-2013 21:32 PM

Comment Well, as concerned parents we can only feel sorry for such happenings as we can do nothing more.Jayent was mugged just outside his apartment in Maryland when we were there, losing his cell, and getting his arm dislocated. He was in great pain and it took a lot of effort of three of us to put his dislocated arm back in the socket.

We are all paying the price for seeing our children get nicely settled in life.We all feel miserable missing their presence love affection & what not.As you said that even their attitude/ behavior change making us repent whether we have made a mistake in sending them to USA.Especially as we become older, our longing for our kids & grand kids to be with us increases exponentially, and this multiplies with the deterioration of our physical & mental health & faculties

Vasu & Savithri

19-Oct-2013 02:38 AM

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