Mar 27, 2023
Mar 27, 2023
Due to some personal reason, I was not at all interested to return Delhi so soon. Swans swimming in the lake, raindrops pouring on my face every now and then, the small grocery shop right below my apartment, the pollution free environment with a clear blue sky of England were all shining like a soothing memory in my eyes. Actually accompanied my husband for he went there on an official project. Spent five months there like a dream. Now, the project was going to be wrapped up, hence no way but to return.
As I wrote in the beginning, due to some inexplicable personal reason, I did not want to come back so soon. Was sitting in the airport with a broken mind. Seemed the hands of the clock were moving faster than before and finally that moment came when our plane took off for New Delhi. It was the night of 16th December, 2012 !
17th December, 2012: The morning always feels refreshing irrespective of our mental state. Entered my house in Delhi with off mood, prepared a cup of coffee to rejuvenate my tired nerves. Had a good sleep in the flight, so did not feel like taking rest anymore. Just a little bit tiredness or lets say jet lag that was it. So instead of taking shelter in my bed, I lied down in the sofa & took the news paper that was lying in front of me. Started reading.
The first page colored the blood first. Moved to the next page. Moved next to next page. The whole paper seemed to be soaked in blood. A 23-year-old woman first gang raped and then brutally murdered. No need to repeat the story since everybody knows each and every aspect of that incident and the consequences. But that very moment threw a new light on me. I was thinking that 16th December is unlucky for me. I repeat the word 'unlucky' for I was observing a date from my personal angle, from my wants and desires. Forgot that the intensity of pain and agony, be it physical or mental could be deeper for another human being. I just sat perplexed. Coffee became cold. All I was trying to understand how much pain that poor girl had to undergo on a particular night which I thought the saddest night of mine, in the year 2012.
The media went berserk for the following few days. Rape was nothing new, happened many times with several women before it. What was new was the severeness of barbarism in this case. Doctors kept on saying, that even if the girl's life is saved then, no way she can lead a normal life anymore. Words, words & only bunch of words.
Words took my mind away to a little girl, I happened to know long back. After being molested in a crowded bus for the first time, she started carrying her school bag by holding it tightly close to her chest right after that day. Never saw her dressing shabbily, but after that experience she started wearing full sleeve/full length clothes, also keeping her hairs improperly combed while stepping out from home. Asked her the reason, she said to keep the unwanted attention at bay, she was doing this. As far as I have seen, nearly 99% women experience different kind of sexual harassment in their whole life - especially in the childhood and adolescence phase, for this time they are unaware of facts & stay afraid of adults posing any kind of unnatural activity towards them.
Till date I have been to three countries other than India - Egypt, England and Tanzania, where I found women safety still comes under 'disturbing issue', though the intensity of disturbance varies from country to country. Laws are definitely there but, when its the uncontrolled play of testosterone and androgen in a predator male mind, then what to do really ? Some says, wearing exposing clothes or mixing up with people openly or projecting ultra-modern psychology are responsible for this mishap.
Well, when a man wears shorts and thereby shows the unique arrangement of his rectus femoris, vastus medialis and peroneus longus (thigh muscles) openly, then is not that unfair ? A woman's desire may also arise by seeing them, but, since she is a woman, she cannot rape. So, automatically men stay safe. And, being a weaker sex, blame comes upon women for wearing short clothes, thereby attracting men, as a result causing harm to her own dignity by their own fault. How amazing the nature's rule is !
A few days back, another teenaged woman became victim of gang-rape. She died out of burn injuries, followed by intense political turmoil whether she was burnt alive or she committed suicide. Looks like its a fountain of statements, meant cutting each other only. Meanwhile Christmas came. New Year celebrations happened. People wished each other. Everything will be just fine and smooth within a couple of days until another shocking rape incident happens. I repeat the word 'shocking', because rape cases where the victim is only raped and then left alive without causing much wounds in her body, will either go unnoticed or get low media coverage for its not shocking enough.
Excuse me, are you thinking of mental scar that a victim suffers in her memory for the rest of her life ? Are you crazy ? Is mental scar so important ? Well, if important, then it's that victim's personal problem. Why media will give importance to that ? News should be something which has the potency to disturb our soul. Otherwise why to bother about small rape cases/molestation when it has become part of our daily lives ? Media attention seems also political at times..
On 1st January, 2014, I was going to DLF Emporio, Vasant Kunj (New Delhi) with my husband to celebrate new year there. In our route, those streets also came where a bus was running fast amidst the darkness of 16th December, 2012 and girl's dignity became subject of playfulness by some so called men inside that bus. Those streets looked so beautiful with colors & balloons for it's a new year. People dressed with nice winter wears were smiling and talking to each other. Clicking photographs of each other using mobile camera to post in facebook/twitter probably.
Everything seemed so perfect except a cry that was floating slowly in the air. I looked upon the sky. Tried to hear the source of that sound more clearly. Who was crying ? Was it Nirbhaya ? Or that teenaged rape victim from Kolkata ? Or the echo of all the Nirbhayas from past and present ?
Will that cry ever stop ?
More by : Dipashri Bardhan
|Much thanks Arghyadip for your valuable comment..Fully agree with you in every aspect you wrote..Clearly shows how deep you can think on such a sensitive topic.. :)|
|I don't know a thing about Indian society, but even here in distant Japan I caught the news of the gang rape referred to here. As a school teacher I want to know what is being done in the schools supported by gov. funding encourage constructive communication across the sexual divide.?|
|Much thanks Swati & Atreya for your valuable comment on the subject..Appreciate your concern on such a disturbing issue, which I really don't know will ever be eradicated from Earth or not..Thanks for liking my article also :)|
|When you wrote or realized..."How amazing the nature's rule is !" |
You said it all.
What about marital rapes? Our Indian law doesnot even accept such a thing. What about villages where girls wear normal or lets say sober clothes rapes are happening there also. Clothes are not the factor here blv me being a guy i at least feel girls wearing short dresses are bolder in nature and for a rapist that shudnt be an easy target. I think rapists find pleasure in ruining an innocent life and the thrill out of it.....women of our country are defense less and moreover little careless to carry any sort of weapons such as peeper spray stun guns ....they can carry a purse filled weith lipsticks but not peeper spray ....when things like these aare happening we dont have the luxury to do a rca on rape , rather think about countering it as a first step.....secondly sell of alchol shud be reduced in rape prone areas but our poor govmntt has so much to fight with which impcts so many other lives that somehow the cries of the victims goes extinct and becomes a topic for ppl like u and me to do what?yes exactly just talk about it......we all just think talk shout scream get angry frustrated which doesnt even bother a rapist so whats the point unless our girls be as bold as they dress and project themselves. Who else will come and protrect? none can be trusted bcoz every guy has a percentage of rapist within him and thats nature and raw truth which most deny as a matter of fact. Menn are not that predictable and seriously women live in their own worlc totaly uninformed about the sheer pervertnness of a common regular man his dark secrets his filthy deep desires that burns him no wonder we see cases like asa ram bapu and that editor of tehelka......rapes wont ever stop bcoz thats nature it can only be prevented
|Sad, really sad! These are 'sick' people and I feel they should face serious action for their behavior, and they do... in jails though. However having said this, I would like to understand where they come from, how they think and so on. Cause its easy to execute them, or coerce them to commit suicide because of circumstances we create around them. But the challenging part is to understand their psychologies, to understand why they behave in a certain way. If we start thinking about 'treating' them, we would probably be able to get to the root of the problem. This may or may not help at all, but no harm in trying to make these people humans and doing our little bit to help them, cause these are mentally ill people and maybe, just maybe, they need a little help in overcoming their violent streaks. I may be wrong here, but ....|
To sum up, a well written piece!
|Saw a video just some time back on Upworthy: http://www.upworthy.com/7-cowardly-words-from-a-totally-sexist-stranger-sparked-this-courageous?c=ufb2 |
Also, it is a pattern that is much a humane one: we see, we shout, we forget, life goes on.
It is harsh, a very very very harsh and shameful truth.
And women's safety has always been a question since a patriarchal society came in place. While, if we go back, not only in our Hindu way of life, but also the pagan (THE most ancient) way of life, proposes a matriarchal society.
We led ourselves to ruin. And now, we fend for ourselves.