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One Tantrum Went to Market...
|by Siggie Cohen|
Take a moment to realize which of the following situations are the ones most often resulting in your child having a tantrum:
Learning to eliminate tantrums can be done by helping your child cope with certain anxieties he or she may feel due to unfamiliar situations. We, adults, must understand that children often feel helpless and powerless (yes, especially the ones that seem most stubborn and assertive), and any opportunity that hands them power (like a tantrum) is a moment of victory. Alas, it is a false sense of power and therefore does not serve the appropriate purpose. Knowledge, on the other hand, is a true power; a stable relationship, one that is built on mutual respect, is one as well.
Though going to the market may seem like an ordinary, and sometimes daily event in a child's life, neglecting to realize that your child needs guidelines and boundaries each and every time, is usually the result of all tantrum we experience right by the checkout line…
Here are some guidelines that can change most anxiety related situations into a pretty smooth ride:
Think of your child as a person with very little say in this world, and one that sees us adults holding all the control (little do they know…). And as much as we associate surprises with fun, most children don't like surprises and don't have enough experience to make appropriate judgments (i.e. a tantrum in the middle of the market). Obviously most us understand it is not appropriate simply because we are able to make that kind of judgment. Since our children simply cannot, we need to be there for them. Allowing them to get familiarize with a situation ahead of time offers them comfort. Stating clear expectation permits them to rely on us for guidance. Discussing plans with them in advance makes them feel respected.
Any person, an adult; or as little as our children, that gets to feel comfortable, safe, and respected, is unlikely the person who will throw a tantrum…
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